How annoying!:
A return to the office means dealing with those irritating coworkers
“Will you stop clicking your pen?!”
Or maybe your beef is with the never-resting chair spinner. Or the incessant toe-tapper. Maybe the guy who pours on the dime store aftershave provides an eighthour assault to your senses. Now that many of us have returned to the office to work side by side with our irksome coworkers, the workday once again can seem like taking a long road trip with your show-tune-singing parents, “Friends”-quoting younger sister and backseat-polluting older brother.
But unlike that car ride, which can be aided with some headphones or a well-timed elbow to the stomach, dealing with office annoyances requires understanding, tact and reinforcement. And don’t forget that your own dislikes come into play — what you may consider utterly exasperating may be unnoticeable to others. So, before you berate your noisy workmate, consider some patience and some tact.
“Annoyance is, unfortunately, in the eye of the beholder,” explains consultant Jean Houston Shore. “Whether you should speak to the coworker with the annoying habit depends on whether the feedback is something they truly need to hear or just something you really want to say. You should speak up if doing so will serve the greater good, not just if it will make you feel better.”
In other words, sometimes it’s better to ignore those little annoyances than to make a big deal out of them. After all, publicly embarrassing a co-worker or blowing up over something minor only makes you look bad, and in the end, can have some serious ramifications.
Jane H., who doesn’t want her last name used, says she worked with two women who chewed their gum “like their lives depended on it — super loud with big, open mouths. Just disgusting.” Jane says if she didn’t know any better, she would have thought they were straight out of central casting. “It seems like a sketch on “Saturday Night Live,” like the two annoying coworkers who drive everyone nuts but don’t recognize what they’re doing,” she says.
Instead of dealing with them, Jane says she moved her computer to face away from the Doublemint Twins and turned up the music on her AirPods. “It wasn’t worth a confrontation — I just dealt with it,” she says.
If you do want to deal with the situation, remember that you control the way you size up an annoying situation. If you mentally assign negative motivations to the person, you run the risk of ruining what needs to be a mutually beneficial working relationship. Assuming that your coworker is unaware leaves you in a more positive and productive state of mind.
As much as you may not be able to believe it, some people are simply oblivious as to how their actions affect others. But sometimes it’s hard to forgive and forget when you feel more like you’re working with a rude college roommate than a colleague.
“The most annoying co-workers probably don’t intend to be annoying, they just think they should have a right and are entitled to play loud music in their cubes, wear way too much perfume, drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot, dress as if for the bedroom or the beach or flaunt their politics. Often, annoying coworkers think that they are way too busy or think they are way too important to have to trifle with things like making a new pot of coffee or considering the feelings of others.
Cooking smelly food or not refilling the coffee is one thing, but there are other offending actions that cross the line from irksome to downright aggravating. For example, coworkers who take credit for others’ work or who get visibly angry on a regular basis, can cause detrimental conflict among peers.
“It is important to note that most annoying people are not evil,” says Todd Dewett, author of “Leadership Redefined” (TVA Inc., $15.95). “Most have what is referred to as low self-monitors. High self-monitors are naturally aware of how others are perceiving them at the moment. Low self-monitors do not, thus, they run a high risk of being annoying and not even knowing it.”
Dewett recommends taking a look at the actions that are annoying you — they probably occur infrequently and do not warrant confrontation. However, if the annoyance negatively impacts the atmosphere and/or productivity of you or those around you, consider approaching the culprit tactfully.