Voices carry:
Use caution when communicating with management
Jeremy Mills says he has always had a problem running his mouth. “I really don’t know when to shut up, for starters,” says Mills, a 27-year-old programmer in Orlando, Florida. “And I assume everyone can talk to each other without observing some archaic system of who can say what and when they can say it.”
Mills says he’s been reprimanded in the past for the volume of his voice, his colorful language and his penchant for telling stories that probably aren’t best suited for the cubicle. “I swore a lot coming out of school and that was tough to put away when I started working, and then it only got worse during Covid, when no one was paying that much attention to what I was saying anyway,” Mills says. “But I get it. My coworkers are pretty much like me so it’s easy to talk to them. It’s when I’ve said the wrong things in front of my boss that cost me.”
By “cost me,” Mills means he was put on probation at two jobs for his approach to talking to others, ultimately losing one of the jobs because of his failure to comply with the terms of the probation. “At the time, I was really upset and was going to sue and make the company regret it and blah blah blah blah — all that stuff you threaten to do when you’re mad — but after I cooled down after a couple of weeks, I re-read the probation terms and realized I absolutely screwed up.”
Mills says he emailed apologies to his former supervisors and told them he appreciated the chance to learn from his mistakes — albeit with another employer. “I’m a good employee so I just wanted to make sure that’s the part of me they thought of in case someone mentioned me down the road,” he says.
It’s important to maintain a professional and respectful relationship with your boss, especially if you want to work in a harmonious work environment. And it’s not just excessive f-bombs or loud tales of weekend debauchery that can get you in trouble. Here are some examples of things you shouldn’t say to — or within earshot of — your boss:
Insults and offensive language: Avoid using insults, offensive language or derogatory comments directed at your boss or colleagues. Yes, it’s unprofessional and can make you look bad in front of others but it may also prompt a visit from the company’s security guard to escort you out of the building.
Complaints without solutions: While it’s fine to bring up concerns at work, avoid complaining without offering potential solutions or suggestions for improvement. Don’t be a whiner or a loudmouth complainer. Instead, be proactive and positive when addressing those pitfalls and practices that may hold the company back.
Problems with the company: Criticizing your company’s policies, procedures or plans in front of your boss — with or without constructive feedback — can create a negative perception. If you have concerns, express them professionally to the appropriate person. If you’re bothered by the direction of the company, keep it to yourself. Expressing a lack of faith in the company’s goals or mission can make your boss question your commitment to the organization.
TMI: No one wants to hear about your ingrown toenail or the barroom brawl you had with your brother-in-law on New Year’s Eve. Sharing Too Much Information with your boss can make them uncomfortable. They may also see it as extremely unprofessional. You can share your realityTV-like activities with others, not your boss. It’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your professional relationships.
Negative remarks about coworkers: Avoid commenting negatively or gossiping about your coworkers to your boss. It can harm workplace relationships and trust. Keep personal conflicts or grudges out of your professional conversations as well. Address those conflicts through appropriate channels, like HR.
Complaints and ultimatums: While you can discuss workload concerns with your boss, avoid excessive complaining or never-ending whining about your responsibilities. And don’t threaten to quit if your complaints aren’t resolved. Making threats about quitting or demanding a promotion or raise under the threat of leaving isn’t productive and more often than not, it may prompt your dismissal.
Politics and religion: Avoid discussing sensitive political, religious or controversial topics with your boss. The last thing your manager wants is a divided workplace based on political affiliations.
Dismissive attitude: Don’t disregard your boss’s feedback, opinions or ideas, even if you disagree. Show respect for their position and experience.