What we learn when we listen

I recently learned a valuable life lesson in the middle of a busy intersection. I was spending a few days visiting my daughter’s family in Austin, Texas. While there, I was charged with walking my two young grandsons to school each morning. The crossing guard, a quite gregarious older woman, knew the boys and asked who they had tagging along. We chatted, and although she lived in Austin all her life, she knew Chicago. It turns out that in her father’s youth, he played briefly for the Cubs. The Cubs wanted to sign him permanently, but his Texas-proud mother tore up the contract. No son of hers would want to live in Chicago, Mom explained with much disdain for big city life. We had a good laugh, and I was sure to say hello again the following morning.

How much better, and maybe even happier, the world would be if we just took a moment to get to know someone, even casually? How many times over the years has she held up her sign and stopped traffic and no one knew? Sure, it’s a little thing, but it’s part of who she is, and she’s proud. She made my day, and I thank her for it.

Take a minute to get to know the delivery boy, a grocery clerk, the librarian. Listen to why a Muslim student feels isolated or a Black father worries about his children. Ask the Latino gardener what he wants for his family. We are, supposedly, all in this together. It’s time to start acting like it. Everyone wants their guacamole, but no one wants to pick avocados. Worse, some don’t want those who are willing to do that work either. We can be grossly indifferent to people we neither know nor understand.

A two-minute conversation with someone you might encounter will not change the world. But it may change your perspective just enough that you will be more amenable to having other conversations. Eventually, you may find it easier to be open, to listen and to be, heaven forbid, a little vulnerable.

When we learn about other people, we learn about ourselves. When we get to know the crossing guard, we get to know a little bit more about how we, and they, fit into the grand scheme of life.

Take the time. It’s not just a great investment; it’s a necessary one.

— John F. Roskopf, Wilmette