Unhappy at work? How to talk to your boss
Everyone has off days at work, and sometimes the bad outnumber the good. It can be tempting to “quiet quit,” doing the bare minimum while you wait to clock out. In fact, according to Gallup’s 2023 State of the Global Workplace report, 60% of global workers have done just that. But why not change your circumstances?
“Job seeking is disruptive to you and your family,” says Kathleen Quinn Votaw, CEO of TalenTrust, a strategic recruiting and human capital consulting firm. “It’s not easy and it requires a lot of courage to put yourself out there. What if your next best job is in your current company? Are you brave enough to speak up and give light to what’s not working?”
Determine what you want to do
If you feel dissatisfied at work, the first thing to do is try to understand why. Shrugging your shoulders and saying you’re not happy isn’t enough. Quinn Votaw says the word “happy” is overused.
“Far too frequently, we don’t define happiness,” she says. “Instead, think about what you love about what you do and what you do not love about it.”
Quinn Votaw suggests creating a plusand-minus list. Think about and write down all your tasks during a typical day and week. Then, note which ones energize you, which ones drain you, and which are neutral.
For example, you prefer support roles over customer-facing positions.
You aren’t gelling with a specific client and think they’d be better suited working with your colleague.
Or detailed paperwork is not your strength, making you prone to errors. Once you know what exactly you want to change, you will be better equipped to approach your boss.
Get feedback
Since it can feel scary to tell your employer, “This job is not working out for me,” Quinn Votaw suggests first consulting with a mentor. Then approach a close colleague, trusted friend or even a parent. Tell them, “Hey, I’m struggling in my position. Can you give some guidance?”
An objective person can help you discuss the areas you want to change. Ask for input on whether your requests sound feasible. Then get help framing what you want to say and how you should say it in a way that shows the benefits to the organization, your manager and yourself.
Schedule a meeting
Telling your boss you’re unhappy needs to be done with intention. Don’t stop them on their way into their office, says Quinn Votaw. The best plan is to get time on their calendar.
“Approach them and say, ‘I’d love to talk to you about my role here and how I can do more of what I really love to do. Can you meet with me on Wednesday?’ ” Quinn Votaw suggests. “That way, the employer is prepared, and they’re not hijacked. They know that you want to have a conversation about growth and opportunity.”
Phrase your ask
As you enter the conversation, pay attention to your words. Instead of simply saying, “I’m unhappy,” Quinn Votaw recommends saying, “I’m not feeling successful.”
“It’s more descriptive,” she says. “Happy can be too vague. You can use the word ‘unhappy,’ but you have to be in a place where you can define it further.”
Be prepared with ideas on how the work you hope to offload could get done. For example, recommend a coworker who is strong in that area. Suggest a timeline for a transition, continuing your current responsibilities for a set amount of time as you navigate away from them. And show how spending more time on the tasks you love will benefit the company. If you signed three new clients last month, you can make a case that you can make more sales calls if you aren’t bogged down with the projects you find draining.
You could continue to watch the clock or plan your exit, but the most straightforward answer to your career blues may be simply telling your boss you are ready for a change.
“Employers can’t give you what you want unless you tell them what you need,” says Quinn Votaw. “It can be very frustrating for them when someone quits without giving the company a chance to make things better. Often, they think, ‘I could have done something about it,’ but nobody started the conversation.”