Ridiculous standards help breed insecurity

Sometimes, it’s really hard for women to say “yes” to their appearance, let alone compliment themselves.

Even those who are still young may be not satisfied with their chubby faces — which actually make them look adorable and cute. When they get older, wrinkles and sagging skin become vexing problems.

I have to admit that I was tempted by ads promoting cosmetic surgery when I was about 23, just after I finished my bachelor’s and was waiting to start postgraduate studies.

I was a little fat back then, not overweight, but I looked plump due to my chubby face and stout legs. Though my peers didn’t tease me about my “imperfect” body shape, I still had feelings of inferiority and anxiety about my appearance.

Those anxieties haven’t disappeared, even though I have just entered my 30s. My friends have told me that it’s quite normal for women to have such anxieties nowadays because the public, and women themselves, keep imposing higher standards on beauty.

A very beautiful fashion blogger I interviewed last month told me she felt she was ugly. I knew it wasn’t a joke because I could sense the selfdisgust in her words.

The 26-year-old said her friends had encouraged her to become an online fashion commentator because most of them think she has a beautiful face and good taste, and also sharp insights about the fashion industry. Despite her attributes, she has experienced cyberbullying, as some “followers” have made fun of her appearance, saying she is not slender or pretty enough.

She said she felt hurt and became anxious about her weight and every wrinkle or pimple on her face.

“I make a living by selling my ‘beauty’. Actually, I’m always worried about how I look in other people’s eyes. That frustrates me, so I have consulted a cosmetic surgery clinic,” she said.

However, from my point of view, she is certainly beautiful and also slender because she only weighs around 43 kilograms while being about 168 centimeters tall. That’s quite unbelievable!

She has a gift for being a fashion blogger, but her self-disgust and malicious attacks from netizens have dragged her into depression, aggravating her sense of inferiority.

That’s the problem, I think. As people have put higher standards on women, wanting them to be beautiful, independent and self-sufficient, they have subconsciously been affected by these ridiculous ideas and standards.

The overwhelming number of fashion ads online and at the roadside show “superior” beauty with angular faces and a skinny body shape. I’m not exaggerating when I say I often feel guilty about having an extra bowl of rice when I see these “skinny models”.

But why should I feel guilty when I’m not working as a model? Why do women have to be skinny when appreciation of beauty is subjective? Facial disadvantages can be improved through cosmetic surgery and makeup, but what about internalized feelings of inferiority?