Frightened wife is tired of living a lie at home

(March 21-April 19). Prepare for a lack of motivation. Rest if you can.

(April 20-May 20). Trying to rile up your friend group may be a losing battle. Nothing coming together? Give up for now.

(May 21-June 21). Let your ambition take a back seat. Your motivation for professional advancement depletes.

(June 22-July 22). The desire to escape is real.

(July 23-Aug. 22). Processing a loss? It’s impossible to go through life without experiencing destruction. Allow yourself to grieve.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Sometimes you have to back away. A relationship issue may cause you emotional grief.

LAST SUNDAY’S ANSWER

Answer:

For more:

(Sept.23-Oct. 23). Your health may feel off today. Slow down. Take care of yourself.

(Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Get lost in the process. Artistic efforts are encouraged.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Lazy day at home? Allow yourself to sink into the couch.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19). No matter what you try to get done, you’re derailed. Go with the flow.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Dream up ways to put your talents to good use.

(Feb. 19-March 20). Tired but wired? Your energy may feel strange. Anxiety you can’t put your finger on is stimulated.

Dear Abby: I have been deceiving my husband for a couple of months and can’t figure out how to come clean. I feel like a terrible person. We have been married 17 years, and during the first four or five we were happy. We don’t have very many disagreements, but when we do, he always wins. This is because he’s intense, intelligent and very intimidating, so I always back down.

I am so uncomfortable with him and careful about what I say that it has started to make me depressed and anxious. I’m in therapy and trying hard to speak up for myself.

The deception I speak of is that I have rented an apartment in another town and have lied to him about trips to see my sister, my daughter and my mother just so I can feel some peace, read a book, knit, and just … be. He has no idea because our finances are separate (his choice).

I’m afraid to tell my husband I want to leave him because a few years ago I expressed how unhappy I was and said I didn’t recognize this small, scared version of myself. He went from frighteningly furious to crying and begging me to stay. I felt so guilty that I stayed. He knows I’m unhappy. He even knows his quiet, underlying rage scares me. His pitiful begging me to stay makes me feel like a bad person.

I feel so much better when I’m away from him, but I’m terrified about how he’ll react when I say I want to leave for good. I know that when I do gather the courage, I’ll likely lose everything we have together. Please advise me. Facing The Truth

Dear Facing: The time to talk to an attorney is now, well in advance of taking any action. Doing so will help you to determine exactly what kind of financial hit you may suffer if you follow through with your plan to leave. Since your finances are separate, it may not be as bad as you fear.

Because you are fearful for your safety, you should also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-7997233 (thehotline.org). The folks there can help you to formulate a safe escape plan.

Dear Abby: My significant other loves to play video games. I believe he has become addicted. I don’t know how to tell him enough is enough. I would love to be heard and noticed by him, but he is too infatuated with his video games. I have even participated in his hobby with him. Am I the “bad guy” for wanting quality time? What can I do? Losing the Game in Maryland

Dear Losing: There is nothing wrong with playing video games – unless it becomes an obsession. Tell your significant other that if he wants your relationship to continue, he is going to have to devote more time to it. Tell him you no longer feel you are noticed or heard, and that it is hurtful. How he reacts will tell you all you need to know about whether your romance can be saved.

Contact Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.