Accountable

It's all about parenting and not all parents know what that means

Blocking major intersections with car donuts is a favorite pastime for these wayward youth. By the time the police arrive, the perpetrators have fled.

Where are the parents? Perhaps these are the same young drivers who whizz past us on the interstates, sometimes going 100-plus miles an hour and sounding like a sonic boom.

Are these the same young criminals who swarm businesses, break windows and grab merchandise?

Where are the parents? Sometimes these children get arrested and taken to jail but are soon back on the streets because of their young age. The questions that perplex me are: Where are the parents of these troublesome preteens and teens? Are there adults taking responsibility for these children? Does anyone care?

There are many who argue that parents should be held responsible for the crimes committed by their children. And to some extent, I agree with that.

But even more important is that parents should be responsible for and have control of their children. Period. It's all about parenting, and not all parents seem to know what that means. In part, that is because they don't have parenting skills themselves. And it's not about race or income status or even how much education one has.

Consequences of lax parenting are apparent every day

While growing up, my family had limited money and resources. Yet my father made sure we had food on the table and clean clothes to wear to church and school. We had to study, do chores around the house, and go to church. We knew that we were cared for and loved. And we knew there were serious consequences for bad behavior. I learned that love and discipline are important components of good parenting.

Sheila Davis, an attorney with the Shelby County Juvenile Court, also grew up in a home with plenty of love but also strict discipline. “This is all about parenting a child versus just having a baby,” Davis says of children involved in crime. “We aren't parenting, mainly because children are having babies, children who have no parenting skills themselves.”

Davis says every day on her job she sees the consequences of lax parenting. “It is horrific–15-year-old murderers, 17year-olds who can't spell their first names,” says Davis, who also has worked as state's attorney for Department of Children Services. “The mother of a 14-yearold delinquent with an ankle bracelet testifying that sometimes her son listens to her and sometimes he doesn't. Children whose list of allegations runs more than two pages. Sexual abuse, truancy, over exposure to adult situations.

“But 99% of the mothers walk into the courtroom with sculpted nails, 2 feet of hair extensions and Tweety Bird eyelashes,” Davis continues. “They barely miss a beat when their child is detained and hauled off to detention. There is a serious breakdown in our communities and neighborhoods.”

I agree.

$1,000 fine intended to incent parents to parent

City data indicates juveniles charged with crime increased 30% from late 2022 to late 2023. Despite the uptick of juvenile crimes, many are upset that the Tennessee legislature has passed the Parental Accountability Act (House Bill 1930/Senate Bill 2571) that could punish parents of delinquent juveniles. It now awaits the governor's signature.

Crime is “out of control,” state Rep. John Gillespie, R-Memphis, who introduced the bill, said. “We've had people that have been car-jacked by 12-year-olds all the way up to people right on the cusp of turning 18,” he said.

Tennessee's Parental Accountability Act would require parents or legal guardians of a child found delinquent in juvenile court multiple times to pay a fine of $1,000 in addition to the child's punishment. Gillespie also said many of the children have parents and family members who are “turning a blind eye or just not paying attention” to what their children are doing.

Some disagree that such legislation is needed, yet almost every state has parental responsibility laws that impose civil or criminal liability on parents for failing to control the acts of their children.

Parents can be held responsible for helping or encouraging their child to commit a crime and financially liable for damages. Parents may also be required to pay fines or attend parenting classes because of the criminal acts of their children. There are also laws covering truancy and bullying other children.

You should care if your child is getting into trouble

Attempts to make parents responsible for the behaviors of their children were entrenched in the founding of the U.S. juvenile justice system in the early 1900s. Back then the system authorized states to intervene when parents were derelict in their duties. Nevertheless, research shows as published in Time recently, “Punishing parents is no deterrent to juvenile crime.” And though such laws are on the books, they are not often used.

Parental responsibility laws were used in the case of James and Jennifer Crumbley, whose then-15-year-old son killed four students and injured seven others in a November shooting spree at Oxford High School in Michigan. Each parent was convicted of four counts of involuntary manslaughter. The teen was sentenced to life in prison.

The Crumbleys are the first parents ever to be charged, then convicted, in the United States for a mass shooting committed by their child. Both were sentenced to 10 to 15 years in prison.

“I know we have a legal duty as parents to protect other people from dangerous kids,” the prosecutor said of the case.

The Crumbley case is quite different from other instances of teens committing crimes, but all parents are just as responsible for the actions of their children. When your child brings home new clothing, electronics and other merchandise, you should question where those items came from. When your son parks a luxury car in your driveway, don't accept that “it belongs to a friend.” And aren't you concerned when your 12-year-old child gets home after midnight? Where has he been and what has he been doing?

As parents, we must stop slacking on our responsibilities and be more present and proactive as a parent. If you feel overwhelmed and need help, there are numerous resources.

The bottom line is that you must do what you can to be a more responsible parent. The lives of your children and others may depend on it.

Lynn Norment, a columnist for The Commercial Appeal, is a former editor for Ebony Magazine.