“My family is the most important thing to me.”

— Penelope

You’ve worked with a lot of icons. What’s the best advice you’ve gotten from one?

On The Freshman, Marlon Brando was telling us a story in his trailer about the scene in

On the Waterfront where he says “I could’ve been a contender.” We’re like, “Yeah, we’ve heard of it.” [Laughs] It was so funny! Elia Kazan wanted him to play it like he was afraid, but Marlon felt it should be more pathetic and sad, so they did two takes. We know the scene in the film was Marlon’s, and he said, “It was my instinct.” It [mirrored] what a director told me: “Trust your instincts — they’re always right.”

How has your family influenced your career?

After I had my kids, my focus was very directed toward them and I wasn’t working that much, mostly by choice. I did some silly TV movies and felt like I was in a lull, or not as passionate. Then I had an epiphany where I thought, “I only want to do projects that are meaningful, or I’d rather not work. I don’t want to cheapen who I am.”

Are you talking about playing Mary Kay Letourneau in the 2000 TV film All-American Girl?

Oh, no, I’m proud of that one. I loved it! It could’ve been cheesy, but it was very well made and an interesting role to play.

How do you balance work and motherhood?

When I filmed [Nation] in Savannah, Ga., I flew home as many times as I could.

Does it ever get tough?

Sometimes. My kids get used to me being home, so when I’m away from LA, it’s hard on them. I still read to my 7-year-old every night, make lunches, take them to school. But when I’m not around, they know that I’m doing something that’s important to me.

How did becoming a mom change you?

I realized that my priority is my kids. There was some freedom in that. As an actor, you’re very caught up in your own world, so it’s good when you realize you’re not the most important thing in the world. There are other beings who you love more than yourself.

And it’s great how you’ve made things work with your husband!

I think the reason we’re put together with people is to help us learn the good, bad and the ugly [about life], and if you don’t want to face the ugly, then you might as well live alone.

What’s made your marriage succeed?

It’s so important to have friendship and common interests, and even if you have differences, to just learn from them. My husband and I are different in a lot of ways.

How so?

I’m much more of an extrovert. He’s taught me to be a bit less gullible, and he’s learned from me to be a bit more open-minded. If anyone tells you it’s all smooth sailing right into the sunset, they’re kidding you, because there are great times but then conflicts arise. It’s how you get through them that’s a testament to the relationship.

Are there any advantages to being 52?

I’m more accepting of myself, faults and all.

What faults?

“I want to be a good role model to my girls, to show that you can work and still be present as a mother.” — Penelope, with her Artist co-star Jean Dujardin

I sometimes have very obsessive thinking and can be indecisive, but I’m also very generous, loving and warm. Now I have fewer insecurities, and I’m more aware of them, so I can catch them more quickly.

How have you adjusted to aging?

You have to take that all in stride. It’s hard in this business when you’re scrutinized — I’ll see wrinkles that maybe other people don’t see. Those are things that you have to accept, because people can get addicted to trying to get rid of things, and then you start looking weird. But in some ways, I feel better about the way I look than I did when I was younger.

What’s left on your to-do list?

Just being in the moment. I think most people are too busy looking ahead or looking behind. I want to focus on enjoying where I am now!

— Reporting by Ilyssa Panitz