HEART to heart
What drew you to Anne of Green Gables?
I play a confirmed bachelor who has a rejuvenation in his life. I want to play people now who are struggling for an honest life — who express compassion and love, but are no less confused or human and make mistakes.
That sounds like your Grace and Frankie character, who comes out as gay late in life.
We’re discovering that it’s happened to an awful lot of elderly divorced men. That appealed to me — and that it was a comedy. It wasn’t going to be weeping and gnashing teeth!
And what a cast!
We just laugh most of the day. Sam [Waterston] and I did a film in 1978 and became friends, [but] we needed to be confident that we could give these characters credibility. So when we met for the first screen test, I said, “May I have this dance?” and he said, “Of course you can.”
Has your career had lots of fun moments?
Oh, dear. When I started out, I was a very serious actor, very dramatic, and had a huge ego. Only after I got married and started having children did I realize that there were far more important things than acting.
You’ve also overcome a lot of demons.
I haven’t. They’re still there — that sense of self-loathing, that we’re going to change
ourselves on our own. We just become aware of them in a positive way where we don’t allow them to destroy us. It really takes family and friends. You have to be willing to love and allow others to love you.
Between your battle with alcohol and your heart attack on the Apocalypse Now set, is it fair say you’re a fighter?
I can only say, “Still here!” I [am] 77. I did have heart surgery almost two years ago and was very lucky they caught it in time. I came through it with the support of my wife, Janet, who instinctively knew what to do and got me back on my feet. I’ve been doing fairly well ever since.
What have your biggest battles been?
I’ve been sober for more than 30 years. I take wine at Communion, because it’s sacramental. I don’t recommend that to people [in AA] — you’re the first outside of family I’ve said that to — but I’ve found it transcendent.
Any secret to 56 years of marriage?
We have this image of possession — “You belong to me,” “I’ll make you happy.” Well, nobody makes anyone happy. We choose to be, and allow others to help us become ourselves and grow into more happiness as a couple. But we have to remain individuals.
How’d you manage to have this big career and raise four kids?
They’re my closest friends, and they reflected a lot of the problems and successes that we had. I know Janet was a good mother, but I couldn’t tell you if I was a good father. I tried and made an awful lot of mistakes, and a lot in public. They were affected by that. But they are a remarkable bunch, that gang of four. Just being with them is a blessing.
And you’ve worked with all of them.
Which is the greatest joy. Emilio directed and appeared in a film he wrote for me called The Way. It’s about a pilgrimage that ends near the place my father was raised in Northern Spain. It’s the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done.
“Janet’s taught me to live an honest life — to tell the truth and nothing
but. I adore her.” — Martin (with wife Janet)
How is your son Charlie doing?
He’s carried the heaviest burdens of anyone I know and maintained humility and compassion that is inspiring. He’s doing very, very well, but you know, he has HIV. It’s very debilitating and a heavy cross that he carries with a lot of courage.
Did his past actions cause any tension?
Charlie is my hero. With all the things he deals with, I couldn’t be more impressed. I just adore him. So there!
Anything left on your to-do list?
I just want to maintain my health so I can continue to experience this great blessing called life. The older I get, the more I appreciate it and the people in it. Hopefully, Grace and Frankie will go into Season 5 next spring — and I’ll keep going as long as they’ll have me!
— Reporting by Ilyssa Panitz