Back to the Future star Michael J. Fox on living with Parkinson’s and how his family makes him stronger.
THE BELOVED STAR OPENS UP ABOUT HOW FAMILY TIES HAVE HELPED HIM REMAIN HOPEFUL
It all started in Michael J. Fox’s little finger. He was shooting the 1991 big-screen comedy Doc Hollywood in Florida when he noticed, “I had a twitch in my pinky,” he recalls. “I’d been partying a lot — Woody Harrelson was in the movie, which is never a good thing in terms of the behavior, so we were kind of crazy. I thought this twitching had something to do with the partying the night before. Then I realized that it wouldn’t stop.”
The symptoms spread, and a series of doctor visits led to a shocking revelation: Michael, 29 at the time, had Parkinson’s disease. “Honestly, my first reaction was, ‘You’ve made a mistake — you’re not aware of who I am,’ ” Michael says. “I just thought, ‘This is preposterous that this is happening to me.’ I got this diagnosis, and it freaked me out, and I ran from it.”
More than 25 years later, Michael, now 57, isn’t running from it anymore. He’s become the world’s leading advocate for people with the disease, as the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research will soon surpass $1 billion in contributions. And he’s living a full, rich life with his wife of 30 years, Tracy Pollan, 58, and their four children: son Sam, 29; twin daughters Schuyler and Aquinnah, 23; and youngest Esmé, 17. Says Michael, “I would’ve never thought that in 2018 I’d have as functional a life as I have.”
HIS DARKEST DAYS
Michael’s family dynamics haven’t always been so healthy. He confesses that after he was diagnosed, “I responded by drinking too much. I drank to obliterate it, to make it go away.” His alcohol abuse “caused tension in my marriage, which had always been good and has been amazing since.”
Finally, Tracy had enough. She woke up one morning to find Michael passed out on their living room couch, spilling a beer onto the floor; Sam, then 3, was nearby. “Is this what you want?” she asked him before walking out the door. “This is what you want to be?” As Tracy remembers it, “I didn’t scream. I wasn’t angry. I was kind of feeling done.”
That was enough to scare Michael
“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.”
— Michael
“I was built to overcome. I was built to
survive.”
— Michael
sober. He quit drinking and focused on learning everything he could about Parkinson’s.
In the years since, Tracy (who once played Michael’s love interest on his breakout sitcom Family Ties) has been a life saver. “My wife is just an amazing person,” says Michael. “I credit her with a lot of my ability to deal with this — and also shutting down my early attempts to deal with it in a non-productive way by drinking or getting angry.”
Their children have also been an enduring source of support. “If I were to use one word to describe my kids, it’s ‘kind,’” Michael says. “They take it in — it’s just natural. I don’t know how we got so lucky that they turned out this way, but they apply that to everything they do.”
Quite simply, Michael is amazed by his children’s maturity in dealing with his medical situation. “They didn’t get anxiety from [my disease]. They got peace from it, and it’s kept them honest,” he says. “They pour orange juice for me. It’s great. You understand there’s bigger stuff going on than just yourself.”
He also draws strength from the family’s faith in Judaism. Though Michael has never officially converted, he attends a synagogue with Tracy, who was born Jewish, and the kids. “Compassion, empathy, understanding and openness are really important,” he says. “You boil it down to what’s important now, in the moment.”
“People always ask if I say ‘Why me?’ I tell
them, ‘Why not
me?’”
— Michael
SECRET OF HIS SUCCESS
Michael kept his diagnosis secret for seven years, but when he finally went public with his story, he was overwhelmed by the response. “It was an amazing experience,” he says. “It was this outpouring at first of sympathy and pity and things that were disturbing and hard to deal with.”
He became determined not to portray himself as a victim. “Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation — I’m not resigned to live with it, I can endeavor to change it,” he says. “You deal with it and move on. When you do that, you keep it in check. Ninety-nine percent of the rest of my life is not Parkinson’s. I don’t feel sorry for myself.”
Realizing he’s not alone in dealing with this disease has been a major help. “I found out I was part of a community I hadn’t been [in] before,” he explains. “I started to notice more people on the street, like the old lady that before was annoying when she took so long to get on the elevator and push the but-
ton. I now recognized her as having symptoms of Parkinson’s and related.”
AT THIS MOMENT
Above all, Michael remains committed to living in the present and making his life the best it can be. “It’s OK to understand where I am today, but I don’t have to spend a lot of time thinking about where I’ll be tomorrow,” he says. “I do the things I need to do — exercise or manage my meds correctly or get the correct amount of rest — but I don’t do them so tomorrow’s better. I do them so today is good.”
Keeping busy with work distracts him from feeling bad for himself. When he was
“The least amount of judging we can do, the better off we are.”
— Michael
diagnosed, doctors told him he might be able to act for another 10 years or so. He’s outlasted that prediction by nearly two decades, appearing regularly on TV shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm and Rescue Me and headlining his own self-titled NBC sitcom from 2013 to 2014.
As an insider tells Closer, “Aside from the fact that he loves acting, he wants to show the world you don’t have to give up your life’s work because you have Parkinson’s or be ashamed of it.”
Beyond any role he’s played, Michael feels most proud of his family and his tireless campaign to help people with Parkinson’s. “As happy-go-lucky and at ease with this situation as I seem to be, it sucks — I hate it!” he admits. “But it’s been one of the great gifts of my life that I’ve been in the position to take my view of the suckitude of it and merge it with other people’s views and try to find an answer.”
While he knows the disease may not be wiped out during his lifetime, Michael finds genuine value in the quest. “Somebody said, ‘Someday, there’s going to be a cure for Parkinson’s, and it’s gonna be because of you,’” he concludes. “It was the first time that really struck me. If that happens, it’s much more special than any movie or TV show.”
— Reporting by Rick Egusquiza