PATRICK SWAYZE
A DECADE AFTER THE STAR’S TRAGIC DEATH, FAMILY & FRIENDS REVEAL POIGNANT MEMORIES
Ten years after his death, the Dirty Dancing star’s friends and family share never-before-told stories about his troubled youth and rise to fame.
When a doctor called to break the news to Patrick Swayze that he had stage IV pancreatic cancer in 2008, the star’s reaction was immediate and intense. He turned to his younger brother Don and said, “S---! Goddamn. I’ve got to get off my ass and jam.”
It was just this kind of never-say-die spirit that made Patrick such a compelling presence on-screen in films ranging from classic chick flicks (Dirty Dancing, Ghost) to ultramacho action favorites (Point Break, Road House). The diagnosis “didn’t extinguish his desire,” C. Thomas Howell, a three-time co-star and lifelong friend of Patrick’s, tells Closer. “He was like, ‘I’ve got a short amount of time to get a hell of a lot done. Let’s go to work.’ That’s what he did, and it’s truly indicative of the type of heart he had.”
Now 10 years after Patrick’s untimely death at 57, his family and friends are sharing never-before-told stories with Closer and in a new docu-special, I Am Patrick Swayze (see page 30), of the challenges he so courageously overcame. He valiantly survived childhood abuse, alcoholism and marital
strife, then finally succumbed to a disease he couldn’t vanquish. “He played heroes in his movies, and he showed himself to be a hero in real life,” says widow Lisa Niemi, 63, who wed him when she was 19 and was still by his side when he died 34 years later. “He was the most incredible man.”
THE OUTSIDER
Patrick was a fighter from the start. Born eight weeks premature, he was not expected to live, but an Irish nun told his mother, “Your baby was born with a star on his head” — a sign of good luck. Growing up in Houston, he had powerful parents: Dad Jesse was a champion cowboy, while mom Patsy ran a dance studio, where Patrick was a star pupil.
In fact, Patsy was the tougher taskmaster on Buddy, as Patrick was called. “She could be very violent,” Lisa says of her former mother-in-law. “On his 18th birthday, Patsy was laying into Buddy, and his dad finally pulled her off Buddy and pushed her against the wall and said, ‘If you ever touch my son again, I’ll divorce you.’” (Jesse and Patsy remained married until he died at 57 — the same age as Patrick did — in 1982.)
Patrick and Patsy’s relationship was com
“I don’t know how to die. I’m just going to live until I stop.”
— Patrick
“He was a cowboy with a tender heart, gorgeous
and strong.”
— Jennifer Grey
plicated, to say the least. “She used to spur him on,” says Don, who was born six years after his brother. “He was everything to my mom. When he would leave the room, she would brag, ‘That’s my beautiful older son.’ ”
It was at Patsy’s dance studio where Patrick met Lisa, who was also a student there. “The moment I looked in his eyes, everything came alive,” she recalls. “What I saw was pure gold.” Five years later, in 1975, the couple married in her family’s backyard, with the reception at Patsy’s studio.
Patrick and Lisa moved to New York City, where he took over the leading role of Danny Zuko in Broadway’s Grease in 1976. Film parts were harder to find, until Francis Ford Coppola cast him as C. Thomas Howell’s big brother in 1983’s The Outsiders. Their onscreen bond mirrored their real-life connection. “He was one of my closest friends and mentors when I needed it the most,” says C. Thomas, who went on to co-star with Patrick in Red Dawn and Grandview, U.S.A. “He really always took special care of me.”
THE TIME OF HIS LIFE
In 1987, Patrick landed a role that showcased both his fierce physicality and his emotional vulnerability: Johnny, the ballroom teacher who sweeps Jennifer Grey’s Baby off her feet in Dirty Dancing. “Patrick was super hungry for connection,” Jennifer says. “His heart and my heart got along really well.”
A string of box-office hits followed, including 1990’s Ghost, a supernatural romance that shone a spotlight on Patrick’s “beautiful balance between strength and softness,” says co-star Demi Moore, who played his haunted widow. But Patrick didn’t want to be pigeonholed as a romantic leading man.
“He wanted to be taken seriously,” Patrick’s longtime assistant, Rosemary Hygate, tells Closer. “He was prepared to go in strange directions” — like playing a drag queen in 1995’s To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar — “and the wonderful thing is his fans embraced it.”
Offscreen, Patrick endured more difficult times. “Both of us loved kids and always intended to have kids,” says Lisa. “I did become pregnant, but I had a miscarriage. It was very heartbreaking.” Adds Don, “It crushed him. You could tell he would’ve been a great dad. Just as an uncle, you could see it.”
Patrick developed a severe drinking problem, perhaps to mask the pain of his childhood — or the symptoms of an undiagnosed mental illness. Says Lisa, “Buddy would be out there being bubbly and fun, then as soon as he was by himself, he would just crash.”
As Don remembers, “I did some reading, and I came up with this thing, bipolar II disorder, and Patrick and I both agreed, ‘Wow, that sounds just like us.’ ”
During his manic highs, “Patrick didn’t eat or sleep a lot,” his manager, Kate Edwards, tells Closer. Agrees assistant Hygate, “He ate popcorn, smoked cigarettes and drank coffee. He had a tremendous energy.”
But Patrick’s most dangerous vice was alcohol. “He had a different personality when he drank,” Lisa reveals. “He was the nicest man on the planet unless he’d had a drink.”
The situation reached a breaking point when Lisa moved out of their New Mexico ranch for a year in the 2000s. “I told him, ‘I
have to leave. I can’t sit here and watch you die.’ ”
But she didn’t go far. “I was over there every day, and I still loved him,” says Lisa. Ultimately, a therapist was able to bring the couple back together. “Things went from horrible to the best they’d ever been,” Lisa says. “We finally gained the wisdom to have what we wanted.”
ONE LAST DANCE
Patrick and Lisa’s newfound happiness didn’t last long, but she’s grateful they reconciled before he was diagnosed. “If things were bad and I had stayed with him after we found out, he would’ve thought I was pitying him,” Lisa says. “Whereas, when he went to face that cancer, he knew I was there because I loved him so much.”
He fought the disease with trademark grit, refusing painkillers and filming a TV show, The Beast, in a freezing Chicago winter. “We didn’t talk about death,” says Lisa. “We were too busy living.”
In May of 2008, Patrick and Lisa renewed their vows on their 33rd anniversary in lavishly romantic fashion. “We did it very Prince Charming and Snow White,” he said. “I rode in on a white stallion.” Gushes Lisa, “It was like a fairy tale. One of the happiest days ever.”
But Patrick was losing weight rapidly, as the cancer spread from his pancreas to his liver and lungs. “It was sad to see him physically dwindle,” says C. Thomas, who notes that on the Outsiders set, “Patrick was so strong — he’d put Rob Lowe on his shoulders, and me on Rob’s shoulders and walk around the park. To see him fade away in a wheelchair was heartbreaking.”
Eventually, Patrick was confined to his bed. Still, “there was peace at the end,” says Lisa. “He had been fighting for his life until he couldn’t fight any longer.”
Patrick’s final words to Lisa were, “I love you.” After his last breath, “I knew he was in a better place,” she says. “He’d used every ounce of that body. It was holding him down, and he needed to leave it behind.”
Thankfully, he also left behind indelible memories for his family, friends and fans. “I still feel him here,” says Lisa. “I feel like he hasn’t left. I can feel every contour of his hand in mine.” — Reporting by Lexi Ciccone