Can’t help foul smells
Dear Annie: I have horrible body odor and halitosis due to a rare medical condition called trimethylaminuria. It makes me emit several odors — mostly rotting food, ammonia and fish. However, there is no medical cure, and I struggle with the condition daily.
Around me, people very often cover their noses, cough, frown and make rude comments. I feel depressed and avoid leaving my home at all costs.
Social interactions and mental stimulation from work are greatly missed, but what can I do when I smell and cannot help it?
Dear Alienated: What a cruel condition. Our culture has become more sensitive to many ailments and disabilities, but I’m afraid this one might still be a far frontier.
I’m sure that you’ve spent plenty of hours researching this already. But a quick rundown of some possible treatments according to the National Institutes of Health, on the slim chance you haven’t tried these: Avoid foods with high levels of trimethylamine and its precursors, including milk, eggs, liver, peas, beans, peanuts, soy, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower and seafood; ask your doctor about taking laxatives ( to reduce the amount of time food spends in your system) as well as low doses of antibiotics; use soaps with moderate pH; take nutritional supplements such as activated charcoal; avoid stress and anything else that causes sweating.
Join an online support group and consider attending counseling to help deal with the emotional component. Try to remind yourself that when people react to the trimethylaminuria, they’re not reacting to the real you.
Dear Annie: “An Earful” wrote to you about her sister, who repeats herself in the process of explaining her “stress, problems and anxiety.” She sounds just like my own sister. A wise, dear friend of mine once suggested that such people often repeat themselves because they don’t feel heard, and that paraphrasing their words back to them — without correction nor advice — enables them to stop repeating themselves.
It worked like a charm with my sister. After the second iteration ( so I knew she felt she hadn’t explained herself well enough), I would interrupt her, saying, “Hang on, hang on. I want to make sure I’ve understood what you’re trying to say.” Then I rephrase my genuine understanding of her words, together with adding, “and I think it makes you feel...” Then I shut up, not offering any explicitly unasked- for advice. She happily either affirms or adds to my understanding and then moves on. It doesn’t stop the talking, but it does provide a more enriched two- way communication and prevents most of the repetition.
Dear Blessed: And how blessed she is to have such a friend and sister of you. This is excellent advice. Thanks for writing.