Mom helps others dealing with addiction
NEWTOWN — Dorrie Carolan is all-too-familiar with the struggle parents face in keeping themselves and their children safe from substance abuse after losing her eldest son to an overdose.
“As a parent, we think we can fix everything,” Carolan said. “From the time our children were born, we were able to make everything good for them, and when they get in the insidious disease of addiction, our parenting skills have to change.
“We can still love our children, embrace our children, but we have to take back the things we do when parenting a healthy child,” she said. “We can no longer accept their behavior because if we accept it, there’s no reason for them to make any kind of changes… They need to know their behavior is no longer acceptable to the family and they need to make changes.”
Carolan’s son Brian Carolan, 28, died in 1999 from a prescription drug overdose following a decade of treatment and struggle with addiction. Through her son’s death and her connection with other parents who lost their children to substance abuse-related deaths, Carolan founded the 501(c) (3) nonprofit organization Parent Connection in 2003 to embrace families in crisis and educate them in substance abuse prevention.
Parent Connection, which celebrated its 21st anniversary this past January, organizes support group meetings and educational programs for thousands of families and residents throughout the state, Carolan
said. Along with its support groups in Newtown, Milford, Middlebury and Waterbury, the nonprofit organization also works in conjunction with town agencies, schools, religious communities, and police departments to empower and educate the communities.
Parent Connection recently partnered with the new beginnings boutique House of Harrison, which offers clothing and resume guidance to individuals seeking employment while transitioning from treatment, sober living and group homes.
Lynne Farah, who created the boutique, is among the parents Carolan has helped in a time of crisis. Farah’s son Harrison, 22, died last August
“You are a parent who is desperate to get your child help and there’s not a lot of help out there, but Dorrie Carolan answers the phone,” said Farah, a Newtown resident. “One time she literally spent eight days on the phone with me trying to find a place for my son.”
Of all her accomplishments as Parent Connection’s founder, Carolan said she’s proud of the people who reach out to the nonprofit after they’ve become clean and sober — though she knows the path to sobriety is no easy journey.
“Sometimes we get frustrated because it kind of runs in spurts,” she admitted. “We could have five deaths in a matter of five weeks and I’ll say ‘Why am I doing this? At some point you have to give it up.’ But then there are times where there is someone in our group who had a baby and said it wouldn’t have happened if not for this group. We may work with the parents, but it’s their kids who did the hard work.”
‘Time to talk again’
Reflecting on her son’s struggles with addiction, Carolan said moving from New York to Newtown was “probably the biggest mistake we made.”
“When we lived in New York, we never had any problems,” she said. “When we moved here, we didn’t know the kids he was hanging out with.”
Carolan said her son
started hanging out with students who were drinking and smoking marijuana, and he was in treatment for substance use within a year. Years of medication, treatment and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings followed until Brian Carolan, a Greenwich resident, succumbed to his battle with addiction.
“He used to call me every single day,” Carolan said. “You know you have that gut feeling that something’s wrong, so I called the Greenwich police. Brian had a friend with the department and we did a wellness check. Brian’s car was there [at his house] so I assumed everything was OK. The next day, I called his dad and we went down to his house and that’s when we found him.”
In 2003, Carolan connected with Donna DeLuca, another mother whose life was affected by substance abuse, at a local fitness club where Carolan worked as the general manager. DeLuca’s son Christian had been struggling with a decade-long battle with heroin at the time.
Carolan said she and DeLuca decided to spread the word about substance abuse through their local newspaper, The Newtown Bee. Their mission led to the creation of Parent Connection, which has been empowering thousands of area residents in preventing substance abuse for the last 21 years.
Christian DeLuca, meanwhile, has been sober for more than a decade and is co-founder and president of the Steps to Recovery treatment program in Levittown, Pa.
Among its services, Parent Connection organizes educational programs and forums on vaping, alcohol and warning signs of drug abuse. The organization also hosts weekly and monthly support group meetings where families can share their experiences in a safe, confidential environment. Carolan said all groups are facilitated by a licensed therapist and offer anonymity.
“It takes a lot of courage to get someone to walk through the door,” Carolan said. “That’s the stigma of addiction — we don’t tell people what we’re going through. I say, ‘Time to talk again.’”