Retiree socializes with young people
Dear Abby: My husband, who is retired, now prefers to talk exclusively to people under 21. He says he is “mentoring” them, though I haven’t seen any indication of this.
He says he has no interest in talking to people our age, so when we get together with our friends, who are mostly our age, he says practically nothing. When I asked why, he said he prefers to impart his knowledge to younger people. I have suggested that he volunteer with younger people, but he wasn’t interested — he just wants to hang out with them.
I’m not sure what to do. He seems depressed if they don’t respond to him in the way he would like. Mostly they show little interest in being with him. What, if anything, should I do about this?
Concerned In The Midwest
Dear Concerned: Consider talking to him about your concern that he is socially isolating himself from contemporaries, because the longer he continues, the less welcome he will find himself. However, until he comes to that realization and decides to fix it, do not expect anything to change.
Dear Abby: My husband and I are proud parents of two adult daughters. They both graduated from a local university. Our rule was if they were to complete their education locally, they had to continue to live at home.
Now, our goddaughter “Justine” is in community college and planning to transfer to a four-year college next semester. I was told recently that she’s been trying to convince her boyfriend to get a place together. Justine’s parents would prefer she remain at home, but won’t fight her if she moves in with her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they’ll continue to fund her education as best they can until she graduates.
We have been contributing financially toward our goddaughter’s education. My husband and I feel that it’s a waste of money just so they can “play house.” I’m afraid they will use the money we give her to live on instead of for school. Should this be my concern or should I let it go?
Dear Godmother: It’s time for an honest conversation with your goddaughter. Explain that you would be uncomfortable subsidizing her if she lives with her boyfriend. You have already contributed generously to her education.