Re­tiree so­cial­izes with young peo­ple

Connecticut Post - - ADVICE/GAMES - Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069 or

Dear Abby: My hus­band, who is re­tired, now prefers to talk ex­clu­sively to peo­ple un­der 21. He says he is “men­tor­ing” them, though I haven’t seen any in­di­ca­tion of this.

He says he has no in­ter­est in talk­ing to peo­ple our age, so when we get to­gether with our friends, who are mostly our age, he says prac­ti­cally noth­ing. When I asked why, he said he prefers to im­part his knowl­edge to younger peo­ple. I have sug­gested that he vol­un­teer with younger peo­ple, but he wasn’t in­ter­ested — he just wants to hang out with them.

I’m not sure what to do. He seems de­pressed if they don’t re­spond to him in the way he would like. Mostly they show lit­tle in­ter­est in be­ing with him. What, if any­thing, should I do about this?

Con­cerned In The Mid­west

Dear Con­cerned: Con­sider talk­ing to him about your con­cern that he is so­cially iso­lat­ing him­self from con­tem­po­raries, be­cause the longer he con­tin­ues, the less wel­come he will find him­self. How­ever, un­til he comes to that re­al­iza­tion and de­cides to fix it, do not ex­pect any­thing to change.

Dear Abby: My hus­band and I are proud par­ents of two adult daugh­ters. They both grad­u­ated from a lo­cal univer­sity. Our rule was if they were to com­plete their ed­u­ca­tion lo­cally, they had to con­tinue to live at home.

Now, our god­daugh­ter “Jus­tine” is in com­mu­nity col­lege and plan­ning to trans­fer to a four-year col­lege next se­mes­ter. I was told re­cently that she’s been try­ing to con­vince her boyfriend to get a place to­gether. Jus­tine’s par­ents would pre­fer she re­main at home, but won’t fight her if she moves in with her boyfriend. I’m pretty sure they’ll con­tinue to fund her ed­u­ca­tion as best they can un­til she grad­u­ates.

We have been con­tribut­ing fi­nan­cially to­ward our god­daugh­ter’s ed­u­ca­tion. My hus­band and I feel that it’s a waste of money just so they can “play house.” I’m afraid they will use the money we give her to live on in­stead of for school. Should this be my con­cern or should I let it go?

Her God­mother

Dear God­mother: It’s time for an hon­est con­ver­sa­tion with your god­daugh­ter. Ex­plain that you would be un­com­fort­able sub­si­diz­ing her if she lives with her boyfriend. You have al­ready contributed gen­er­ously to her ed­u­ca­tion.

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