Organ donation is a reminder of loss

Dear Annie: This is in response to the letter from “A Very Grateful Mom” and your answer to her.

Ten years ago, my 15-yearold son was walking home from school, when he was hit by a car driven by a 91-yearold man. It was a tragic accident, and my son died three days later. His father and I decided to donate his organs to see something positive come out of this tragedy. My son was generous and loved to give, so we wanted the end of his life to have meaning and have his giving spirit live on by donating his organs.

Several months after my son’s death, I received cards and letters from some of the recipients. The woman who received my son’s heart thanked us and let us know that she was now going to church and that she would now be able to see her own son get married. At that point in time, I wanted to just crawl into my son’s grave and die. I have never answered that woman, and I do not plan to. She must have forgotten that someone had died for her to live on.

I am appalled that “A Very Grateful Mom” was more or less complaining that the donor family had not contacted her. She should remember that in order for her own daughter not to have had to walk through death’s door, someone else’s child did.

There is no getting over the loss of a child. Time does not heal all wounds. Show some compassion and stop making demands on families. In other countries, contact between donor and recipient families is not permitted within the first year. Sadly, that is not the case in the United States. Please remind your readers to remember that organs come from people young and old, fellow human beings who were loved and belonged to families that will not celebrate another chance at life but will have to come to terms with death, grief and lives forever changed.

Grieving Mom Dear Grieving Mom: I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your son. It sounds as though he had a beautiful spirit. I do want to note that “A Very Grateful Mom” was not complaining that no one in the organ donor’s family had reached out; she just said that she hopes one day someone will so that she can properly thank the family.