Daugh­ter nav­i­gates rapids of di­vorce

Connecticut Post - - ADVICE/GAMES - An­nie Lane Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­[email protected]­ators.com. To find out more about An­nie Lane and read fea­tures by other Cre­ators Syndicate colum­nists and car­toon­ists, visit the Cre­ators Syndicate web­site at www.cre­ators.com.

Dear An­nie: I re­cently went on va­ca­tion with my mom, step­dad and sib­lings. We went to the river where my step­dad has been go­ing for about 30 years. Every­one else in the com­mu­nity has been go­ing there ev­ery year for just as long, if not longer. Now, my mom and step­dad met each other while they were mar­ried, and, well, you can put the rest to­gether. Many fam­i­lies we know have taken sides ever since, so be­ing the daugh­ter, I’m no stranger to weird vibes in so­cial sit­u­a­tions and peo­ple choos­ing sides.

Upon meet­ing the river­go­ers, I quickly re­al­ized that some of them were on my step­dad’s ex-wife’s side. How did I know? They avoided talk­ing to us and didn’t in­vite us to par­take in group wa­ter­sport ac­tiv­i­ties. In one case, af­ter I in­tro­duced my­self, the woman looked at me, scoffed and walked away. There were plenty of nice peo­ple, though, so we still had a great time.

This isn’t some­thing I take per­son­ally. The sit­u­a­tion has noth­ing to do with me, and the af­fair hap­pened six years ago. If they’re get­ting all hung up about some­thing that’s not even their busi­ness, that’s their prob­lem. But I never know whether I should stand up for my­self, kill them with kind­ness or just ig­nore them.

Boat­ing With Bag­gage Dear Boat­ing: It sounds as if you’re ex­pert at nav­i­gat­ing these treach­er­ous rapids, so ku­dos.

Con­tinue be­ing pleas­ant in the face of their ugly at­ti­tudes. Pre­tend you’re obliv­i­ous to their bad vibes. If one of them says some­thing out­right rude to you, you have a right to stand up for your­self.

Dear An­nie: What is the eti­quette con­cern­ing who pays for a date these days? I am re­al­iz­ing I may be a bit old-fash­ioned, as I still think that a man should pick up the check at least the first few times he goes out with some­one. I’ve been on three dates with a guy re­cently, and we’ve split it ev­ery time. Am I out of step with the times? Half­sies

Dear Half­sies: A good rule, widely used to­day, is that the per­son who does the ask­ing does the pay­ing — at least on the first date. Af­ter the first date, go­ing Dutch is com­mon­place.

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