Connecticut Post

Beau’s marriage surprises girlfriend

- Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or dearabby.com

Dear Abby: I am currently dating someone, and although it hasn’t been that long, so far everything has been great. We each have two children from previous relationsh­ips. We have discussed the topic of marriage, having a child of our own and have even considered adoption.

One day he told me he wanted to tell me something. He ended up saying that before going into the military years ago, he “had” to marry his ex. Problem is, although they have lived apart for three years, she isn’t his ex. They are still married. He said they have no interest in being together and have both moved on.

When I asked when he plans to divorce her, he said he hasn’t had the financial capability to do so. I don’t know how to take this news. Any advice? Thrown In Nevada

Dear Thrown: You need more informatio­n. I’m not familiar with the divorce laws in Nevada, but an attorney who is licensed to practice there will be. It would be very much worth your while to make an appointmen­t with one to discuss what your boyfriend has told you. You should do it before becoming any more involved with him.

Dear Abby: I’m writing in the hope you’ll raise awareness about male breast cancer. A male family member was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and in addition to the issues everyone recently diagnosed with cancer goes through, there are additional issues causing stress.

Because male breast cancer is so rare, all the pamphlets and informatio­n are aimed at women. As a result, my relative feels very alone. Besides family, he doesn’t want anyone, including members of his church, to know his diagnosis because he’s afraid of what they will think. Encouragem­ent such as telling him his friends can offer additional support has gone nowhere so far.

Abby, can you share with your readers some informatio­n and resources for men with breast cancer?

Caring Family Member

Dear Caring: There is informatio­n about breast cancer in men online. If your relative will visit cancer.org and search on male breast cancer, he will discover an abundance of informatio­n on the subject. For suggestion­s about support groups, he should call the American Cancer Society’s helpline: 800-227-2345. Your family member is NOT alone. I wish him a speedy and complete recovery.

Dear Abby: I work two jobs and took time off from my second job so I could watch my four grandchild­ren for a week when their parents had to go out of state. They did call the 14-year-old daily, but never once called or spoke to me during that time. Am I being cranky or is that disrespect­ful? Feeling Like Dirt

Dear Feeling Like Dirt:

I don’t blame you for being miffed. It was thoughtles­s and ungracious of them not to ask to speak with you for a minute.

However, if they didn’t respect you, I’m sure they wouldn’t have left their precious children in your care.

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