Cosmopolitan (USA)

Signs i t ’s def ini tel y Scorpio season



You’re horny like you’ve just had an hour- long makeout sesh…but you haven’t actually touched anyone. And you’re in the produce aisle.


You draw a tarot card for yourself, and it’s Death. You do it again, and it’s Death. A third time? Yeah, Death.


You cancel a promising second date to…FaceTime about nothing with your BFF. Sry, but talking to people who don’t know the ~real you~ just sounds exhausting.


A friend of a friend posts pics of the latest sold- out

Fenty drop and suddenly you’re imagining an Ocean’s 8– level heist.


You’re casually plotting revenge against your archnemesi­s from eighth grade. Also, you’re 30.


You’ve spent more hours perfecting your Halloween costume than you did choosing either your first- day- of- work ’fit or your wedding dress.


The goss in your group chat > TMZ right now.


You pick up your phone to set your alarm, and before you know it you’re on your ex’s ex’s ex’s IG.


All your Scorpio friends start telling you it’s Scorpio season. Plan a Zoom party or perish.


Turns out, you can literally pinpoint when it’s best to ask for a raise or make a move on your crush (or, if the stars are, like, really aligned, both at the same time). Because in astrology, every day is ruled by a planet. Those planets are each connected to a zodiac sign, making each sign have its own v special day— aka your ballerest moment of the week.

Ruler: Sun


( 03.21– 04.19)

Libra season is romance season…but Mercury Retrograde on the 13th adds ex drama. Block ’em and focus on your crush or S.O.—Scorpio season, on the 22nd, brings even sexier vibes.

CANCER ( 06.21– 07.22)

Venus in Virgo is lighting up your communicat­ion zone. You’re getting all the Tinder matches, networking with valuable profesh connection­s, and catching up with the crew.

You know how these boards can be found in the game section of toy stores? Yeah, well, this isn’t a game, ppl! True story: A friend of mine who used Ouija was rewarded with a psychic attack, resulting in nightmares, anxiety, and horrible luck. When you reach out to the “other side,” you never know who or what you’re awakening—and if things go wrong, the bad vibes may follow you around for months or even years. (Like I said, a game!) Even actual mediums who’ve been trained to connect with spirits usually don’t risk using Ouija boards (they tend to use safer tools like altar work and meditation). So really, seriously, you shouldn’t either. not Zoom. t’s ti as le at

I mean,

Who’s more supportive than you two? (No one.) You take the best care of each other— and let’s be real, everyone else too— with Virgo bringing the practicali­ty and Pisces bringing the magical thinking.

Hi, it ’s true: Astrologic­ally speaking, “sisters” are a pair of signs that share the same modality and are congenial elements. Which is just intense cosmic talk for “two signs that get along really, really well and should probably be BFFs.” When you pair up with one of these signs in bestie form, you get someone who *sees you* but also pushes you to

As the two most stubborn signs, your fights can last for literal weeks…but that’s bc you can actually stand up to each other. Which helps you learn that sometimes it’s okay to give up control. be your best self. Who texts you the juiciest gossip tells you you’re way too involved in that Twitter feud. Who listens to you rant about your ex

lets you know your natural deodorant’s not working. Don’t worry, we did all the translatin­g and tabulating work, so you can just keep reading to find your newest, most favorite sib.

Happy to—and the first explanatio­n is the least complicate­d: Twins *can* have different Sun signs. Like, let’s say the first twin is born at 6:57 p.m. ET on October 22, 2020, making them a Libra. Their sibling is born at 7:01 p.m., after Scorpio season’s official 6:59 p.m. start time. So they’re only four minutes—but two very different astrologic­al personalit­ies—apart (good luck, fam!). Similar cosmic scenarios can also give twins different Moon and Rising signs—and everyone else a reason to say, “But they’re actually nothing alike!”

Plenty of twins, including your girls Mary- Kate and Ashley, share the same major signs. If the internet is right about their birth times, they’re both Gemini Suns, Virgo Moons, and Leo Risings. But that doesn’t mean the rest of their charts are exactly the same.

See, the sky is divided into 360 degrees, with 30 degrees in each zodiac sign—and even a one- minute birth- time difference can change the degree of a planetary placement, spelling crucial or nuanced personalit­y difference­s. MaryKate’s Moon is at 0°46’ Virgo while Ashley’s is at 0°45’ Virgo, making MaryKate more likely to be a perfection­ist. ( Which is generally not the plot of Olsen twins movies, I know.) And this is just one of their many not- quite- the- samedegree placements.

Then there are aspects, or the angles the planets in a birth chart make with each other. Mary- Kate’s Moon in Virgo and Saturn in Sagittariu­s form a tighter square aspect than Ashley’s, meaning Mary- Kate may be more prone to emotional turmoil (like maybe the kind brought on by a pandemic divorce?).

Suddenly it all makes sense, right? JK, I know it’s a lot. But honestly, all you really need to remember is this: Even if twins do look and act exactly alike, an astrologer can always tell them apart! *evil laugh*

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