One woman. One toxic ex. One ex…orcist.
I know what you’re thinking: What kind of L. A. sh* t is this? But seriously, just listen.
hands down on the center of my body while exhaling into her face mask.
After what feels like only a few minutes ( although it’s actually been more than an hour), Stavis ends the exorcism with a lot of noise. Like a She’s hitting gongs and shaking rainsticks, which I guess is how you get evil spirits to peace the eff out? She then places a smoky white crystal ball into the palm of my hand. And I immediately (truly) feel energized— like I just woke up from a productive power nap.
Oh, and before I leave, Stavis suggests I google the meaning of flies—she’d also noticed the one hovering around me.
As I drive home, my adrenaline dies down and I feel a little drunk and out of it, unsure if this thing had actually worked. When I tell my boyfriend about the experience, I can tell that he’s looking at me like I’ve reached a new level of L. A. (see, it’s not just you).
That night, I have my last—and final— dream about my ex. I am in a shopping mall and can see him there with his family and friends. I keep trying to hide from him, and just when I think I have, I turn around and we’re face- toface. I blatantly tell him to leave me alone, then wake up. That was it—and now
I feel confident I’ll never dream about him again. (So far, so good.)
There’s other stuff too: I’ve never felt more in touch with the universe or my relationship. Every morning, I wake up and think about something I’m grateful for (as recommended by Stavis, of course). Some days, it’s my and my boyfriend’s health; other days, it’s sauvignon blanc. But it seems I can honestly thank an exorcism for helping me actively engage in conversations about an engagement versus screaming internally.
Oh, and I looked up the fly thing. Apparently, flies can send the message that “being persistent, consistent, and determined, even in the face of tragedy, will result in victory,” per a Google search that landed me on a psychic medium’s article. And since I went all the way to an exorcist and back—and am happier and more excited for love than ever before—I’d say I’m pretty fucking victorious.