Lots of Laughs

Humor provided the antidote to a pantyhose problem.

Rogue hose inspires revelry.

Years ago, when it was still common for women to wear pantyhose under their slacks, I pulled a pair on, then pulled on some pants and went to dinner with friends. Later that night, as I got ready for bed, I slipped off the hose and my slacks together, and I laid them on a chair.

I had a doctor’s appointment early the next morning and I overslept, so I hurriedly took a shower and put on a fresh pair of pantyhose. I decided to wear the same slacks I had worn the night before, but I forgot I had slipped off the hose and the slacks together.

Dr. H had been my physician for years, and when he walked into the exam room, he greeted me with, “Good morning, Elly! What ya got hanging out of your pant leg?”

I leaned down, pulled out the extra pair of hose and dangled them in the air. “I always carry a spare pair!” I replied. Dr. H and his nurse had a good laugh, but I was so embarrassed! I silently told myself this was never going to happen again.

A few months later I went to a movie, and again, I slipped off my pantyhose and slacks together and laid them on a chair when I got home. The next morning, once again, I put on a fresh pair of pantyhose under the slacks I had worn the night before.

I drove my van to a car repair shop for an oil change. After dropping off my keys with the technician, I went to the waiting room, where coffee and donuts were set out for the customers. I got my snack and went to sit down on one of the two facing benches in the room.

The two older men sitting on the opposite bench watched every move I made. I leaned over to place my purse by my feet, and what did I see? Last night’s pantyhose sticking out of my pant leg. I knew those four eyes were focused right on me, so without looking up, I slowly pulled the hose from my pants, dangled them in the air, smiled and said cheerfully, “I always carry a spare pair!” They got quite a laugh out of that.

Fortunately, only a minute later their names were called over the loudspeaker; their car was ready. As they got up, they said they hadn’t had a laugh like that in years and actually thanked me. They were still laughing as they walked to their car.

That was the day I stopped wearing pantyhose under slacks. But I often wonder how many times those two men told the story about the lady who always carried a spare pair of pantyhose inside her pant legs.

Share your most embarrassing moment or cutest kid quip.