Humor

Replacing our old appliances left me wishing I’d never had hogs on the farm.

Laugh out loud at the stories and jokes Country readers tell.

Many years ago, a load of dirty throw rugs turned out to be the last straw for our old Maytag, and black smoke rose out of its top during the spin cycle. So my husband and I decided we had time that day to take the kids into town to buy a new washer before the local co-op closed.

The manager didn’t mind staying to help, and in fact gave us such a great deal that we bought the matching dryer. Plus they would deliver the new machines the next morning and take the old washer and dryer off our hands.

I was in appliance euphoria as we drove home. It didn’t last long, though. As we pulled in, we saw the hogs were out and gleefully rolling up the new sod in the front yard. We jumped out of the car.

Two yelling children, one irate farmer, his tickedoff wife and a dog do not make an ideal wrangling crew, but we got the hogs back in their yard and found the gate they’d knocked down. While we fixed the gate, I remembered I had some underwear in the dryer, so I asked my 8-year-old son to remove them to a laundry basket. Then I promptly forgot about it. The next morning, the new appliances arrived right on time and the old ones were hauled away. I happily washed and dried every dirty article of clothing that I could find. When it came time to run errands, I went back to the co-op to get what I needed.

Checking out, I spotted a sack on the register with my husband’s name on it. I asked the clerk about it, and he gave me a funny look before grabbing the bag. He told me, staring down at his feet, that he’d come across some “stuff” inside our old dryer.

My mind drew a blank. So I thanked him, took the sack and walked out with my head held high. After all, I was the proud owner of a top-of-the-line washer and dryer from that very store!

Opening the sack in the car, I found the unmentionables that my son apparently forgot to remove. It took me a long time to go back into the co-op or to look that young man in the eye again. It was a small town. Thank God he went to a different church.

Maybe I should have asked my daughter to empty the dryer. My son has selective hearing, and we were all distracted. Despite my shame, I was still hog-wild over my new appliances!