Q: What kind of exercises do lazy people do? A: Diddly squats.


Ode to a Gopher

In my garden there’s a Gopher who won’t go away. He’s having too much fun Digging tunnels every day. My plants are disappeari­ng Deep down into his hole. I bet by now his stomach Is feeling very full. This gopher likes my yard He loves to gnaw and chew On the tasty vegetables That I so proudly grew. But one day I’ll get even And spray him with a hose. Then I’ll laugh as I watch To see how fast he goes!


Riverside, California

Homemade Chicken Soup

When my parents, Al and Esther, were in their 60s and 70s, they traveled by train from Chicago to New Jersey to visit us. The trip was over 24 hours, so Mom packed sandwiches and snacks. Rushing down the concourse in the Chicago train station, my mother’s bag broke open. There, sliding down the concourse like a curling stone, was a wrapped frozen chicken with two elderly people chasing after it. When they caught up to it, my father asked, “What is that for?” Mom replied, “Steve loves my chicken soup, so I thought I would make him some.” My father cried, “For Pete’s sake, Esther, don’t you think they have chickens in New Jersey?”


Willingbor­o, New Jersey

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States