Musical Chairs

THE YEAR I MOVED from Florida to Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Sioux Falls had its worst winter in 75 years. Temperatures were routinely minus 25⁰F, so when an Orlando friend invited me to visit in January, I went. My connecting flight was late, so although I had a boarding pass and a seat assignment to Florida, they had already given my seat away. As I boarded, I was told, “Sir, please take the first available seat. We are ready to close the door and push the plane back.”

No seats were available except in a row blocked with yellow tape. In the middle section of the plane was a man seated next to a cello. When I asked the flight attendant about it, she said, “The man next to it bought a seat for his cello. He’s entitled to both seats.” I asked about the seats wrapped in yellow tape. She said, “The oxygen masks for that row don’t work, so no one can sit there per FAA regulations. If you can’t find a seat, you’ll have to leave the plane.”

So I looked her straight in the eye and said, “Is there an FAA regulation that says a cello has to occupy a seat with a working oxygen mask?” They moved the cello, and I got the seat.