Fiance's kisses make woman ill
DEAR ABBY >> I struggled for years with vomiting and nausea, as well as other digestive issues I dismissed as having a “sensitive stomach.” When my fiance, “Marc,” and I started dating, he urged me to find out the cause of my issues. Six months ago, I was diagnosed with celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that is managed through a gluten-free diet.
Marc has been incredibly supportive, and our kitchen is mostly glutenfree. I can get fairly sick, so we are pretty careful. There's just one issue: I can get cross-contaminated if he kisses me after eating gluten, and he does eat gluten quite often. It can be resolved if he brushes his teeth thoroughly, but he brushes his teeth only every two or three days.
I don't want to be responsible for managing his oral hygiene. Is it reasonable to expect my fiance to brush his teeth after eating gluten? Or every morning and evening?
— Bad Kiss in Kansas
DEAR BAD KISS >> If kissing your fiance causes you to have episodes of nausea and vomiting (as well as other digestive issues), out of respect for your welfare, your fiance should be willing, if not eager, to modify his snacking habits. Insisting that he do what dental health professionals have urged as far back as I can remember is not “controlling” — it is protecting your health and his. SPEAK UP!
DEAR ABBY >> My cousin is refusing to allow me to see my aunt (“Betty”). After a horrible 2020, during which my cousin lost her husband to cancer and the lockdown occurred that kept most people isolated, my cousin still guards her mom beyond reason. I have asked repeatedly if we could meet in person at an outside location and offered to wear a mask, but she refuses.
My cousin said in a text that she's in charge of her mom's schedule. Her reasons when we speak are the loss of her husband, grief and fear. My aunt is visited often by her grandkids, who live regular lives exposed to the many elements out there, and my cousin works in an industry where she's exposed to many people.
My aunt is in her late 80s, and I'm afraid the next time I see her will be in her casket.
It makes me sad and sometimes angry that my cousin is doing this.Should I say anything to her or just let it be?
— Missing My Aunt Out
West
Columnist
DEAR MISSING >> By all means, have that conversation with your cousin. Because she has a career that exposes her to strangers who could transmit a contagious disease, and she allows the grandkids to visit, her reasons for not allowing you to see your aunt make no sense.
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