Last word on astrology

Tuesday, May 10

Happy Birthday: Use your resources to your advantage. Express your desire to strive for balance and equality to ensure you spend as much time enjoying life as you do working to maintain your status quo. Your numbers are 5, 12, 19, 24, 33, 43, 47.

Aries (March 21-April 19): Be positive, regardless of what others do or say. An emotional situation will escalate if you become emotional or act hastily. Consider your objective and what it will take to succeed. How you handle money and peers will influence what happens next. ★★★

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Refuse to let anyone limit what you can do or put demands on your time. Don’t pout if things don’t go your way; choose an alternative route and move along. Act based on your intelligence, not on your emotions, and you will avoid a scrimmage. ★★★★★

Gemini (May 21-June 20): Do your best to get along without jeopardizing your integrity, position or reputation. Avoid confrontations by walking away from questionable situations. Spend more time doing what you can to make a difference and less time letting others take advantage of you. ★★

Cancer (June 21-July 22): You can be friendly without putting yourself in harm’s way. Approach projects and responsibilities with an open mind and turn some of your unique ideas into something tangible. A kind gesture will lead to positive feedback and returns. ★★★★

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Look for simplicity and moderation in all that you do, and you’ll be happy with the outcome. Personal growth and a healthy attitude will help you attract people who have something valuable to offer. Romance is featured. ★★★

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It’s up to you to bring about change if that’s what you want.

Prioritize your to-do list, and don’t stop until you are happy with the outcome. A unique approach to an old idea or method will reinforce your character and talent. ★★★

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Dedicate more time, not money, to a worthy cause or something you want to pursue. A kind gesture will help you win favors. A challenge at home will turn in your favor if you make positive suggestions to improve your living arrangements. ★★★

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Dismiss anyone trying to dump their responsibilities on you. Expand your interests and seek out knowledge that can help you excel. Strive for equality and work toward a goal that brings you joy. ★★★★

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t be too quick to take on something new without researching what’s involved. Put more effort into personal and domestic matters that need adjustment. Use your intelligence and a gentle nudge to get your way. ★★

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.

19): Take better care of yourself and those you love. Say no to manipulative individuals trying to take advantage of you. Make home improvements that will encourage you to take better care of your health and wellbeing. ★★★★★

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let emotions dictate what you say. Be thoughtful and understanding when dealing with others. Look for subtle ways to improve how you do your job or handle daily duties. ★★★

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): If you act on an assumption, you’ll end up having regrets. Focus on what you can do to please loved ones and make yourself happy. Juggle your time accordingly, and you’ll feel liberated by what you achieve. ★★★

By Thomas Joseph

Dear Amy: My younger sister is 54. She has been divorced three times and has a teenage daughter.

Both of our parents are deceased. My sister currently has a nice boyfriend she has lived with for a few years.

The issue is that she cannot seem to keep a job for longer than a year. She has been terminated from at least six jobs in the last 10 years.

Although she blames others for these terminations, it is obvious that she is the problem. I want to discuss this with her without her getting defensive.

I am recently comfortably retired and always feel somewhat guilty about her financial problems. I’ve had people tell me not to worry about her, because she always lands on her feet.

One therapist told me: “Not my monkey, not my circus,” which helped for a few years — but every time she loses another job my heart sinks.

Any suggestions on how to help her realize that she is the common denominator when it comes to losing these good jobs?

Dear Worried: My inexpert observation is that often within a family system, the people who might benefit the most from therapy are the least likely to seek it, while those around them seek professional help for how to manage the challenges of the troubled relationship.

I would not use the terminology your therapist used, but I do agree with the thinking behind it.

It is natural for you to want to take care of your younger sister. You probably absorbed this very basic lesson in childhood.

However, your sister is not asking to be taken care of. She is not asking to be “fixed.” And you not only want to try to fix her, but you’d also like to control her reaction to your efforts.

She likely believes that if the rest of the world would only line up and play fair with her, then she would receive the credit she believes she deserves.

However, if she currently enjoys a stable and positive home life, then she is a success along the most important metric by which human beings can be measured. Her partner is a nice guy who presumably loves her, her daughter is growing, and she has a caring older sister who is in her life.

If your sister ever asks you for your perspective, you should offer it.

Until that day, you should relax into your big sister role and accept your flawed but scrappy younger sister, just as she is.

Dear Amy: Sometimes, when my husband and I fight, it’s because I’ve been clumsy and done or said something impolite.

He responds in kind, and then insists on an apology, which I give.

But when I ask him to apologize for his unkind reaction to my behavior, he says, “You started it, so I don’t need to apologize.”

That is how all of our fights end: With him getting an apology and me getting nothing. Do you agree that the person who “started it” should never receive any apology?

Dear One-sided: None of what you two do would be considered “fighting fair.” This seems more like scoresettling than mature adults offering sincere apologies and receiving forgiveness.

To me, the basic geometry of your interactions seems imbalanced.

But apologies, forgiveness and reconciliation are not points on a protractor.

You two should not only settle scores, but actually attempt to reconcile and rebalance. And this man who values apologies so much should learn how to offer one.