Sociable children tax mom's hosting talents

DEAR AMY >> I'm a mother of two children, ages 7 and 10.

My kids enjoy playing with their friends outside of school, and I mostly don't mind hosting playdates.

We do way more than our share of hosting, however.

One of my son's best friends is frequently invited to our house, but rarely reciprocates.

The mom even acknowledges that they “need to have him (my son) over,” but the invite never seems to arrive.

This mom is busy (she has three kids) and rarely turns down our invitations, but rarely invites my son over.

Short of inviting ourselves to their house, is there a way to politely ask them to play there more often?

I get tired of having the same kids over and rarely getting invited back, but I don't want my son to never get to play with his bestie, either. Should I just suck it up? — Tired of Hosting

DEAR TIRED >> Children, like adults, vary in terms of their friendship and companionship wants and needs.

It sounds as if your son is a sociable child who enjoys having friends around, and he has a mom who is generous and accommodating.

(I assume you also have one of those houses that kids enjoy spending time in, with an accommodating parent who has games, toys, and snacks at the ready.)

Your son's “bestie's” mother has three children.

You don't note their ages, but raising three children is exponentially more challenging than raising two.

According to a 2013 survey of “more than 7,000 mothers” by Today. com, the women reported that three children is the most stressful number of kids to have (those with more than three children reported that achieving a “critical mass” at home seems to make things easier).

I'll suggest three ways to achieve more balance:

By “sucking it up” a little bit more — perhaps by taking more well-deserved pride in your parenting and your sociable household.

By asking this mom in a friendly and frank way, “Can you have my son over to your house one afternoon this week? He and I would really appreciate it.”

And also by telling your own sociable children “no” more often than you do when they want playdates at your house.

It is good for your children to experience occasional “boredom,” where they are not diverted and entertained by their friends or by you.