Acknowledging an empty card

My daughter graduated from high school a few weeks ago and had sent out announcements to family and friends. She has been receiving congratulations cards and notes in the mail, and some have included monetary gifts to acknowledge her going to college in the fall or just in celebration of her big life event. Monetary gifts are definitely not expected, but I’m concerned about how to address a card that arrived from family friends who have been in our lives since my daughter’s birth; they are the in-laws of one of my siblings. The card arrived with nothing enclosed, and though that is not unusual, the envelope was open/unsealed (looked as though it was never sealed), and the card was inserted with the open portion facing up. I’m thinking one of two things happened. Either a check or cash was included and fell out or was taken out or nothing was enclosed and the envelope was mailed without being sealed well.

My quandary is whether I should mention something to the senders or not. If they did enclose something, they would want to know that it was missing when it arrived, but if they didn’t, I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable by mentioning it. What is the best way to handle this type of situation? — Grateful for Love From Family and Friends

Before I answer your question, I want to tell you how much I love your signature. Gratitude is one of the best life skills that anyone can cultivate, and the fact that you are feeling gratitude for two of the most important things in the world — your family and your friends — is excellent. As for the card in question, your thoughts make perfect sense. If my check were taken or I didn’t seal my envelope, I would want my friend to tell me. Thank your longtime friends for the card, and explain to them the way the envelope arrived — that it looked as if someone tampered with it.

How happy I was to see my name, Janie, in print in your column. The writer to you was frustrated when people misspelled or mispronounced her given name, so she chose the nickname Janie. Then she couldn’t win, as people got that wrong, too, calling her Jane.

No one can better relate to her anger than I can, for in my many years, I have had to live with some people insisting on calling me Jane.

It so happens that I’m proud of my name. Some years ago, a second cousin whom I’d never met surprised me with a letter saying she had found my name and address in her mother’s address book and she wanted me to know we have the same name. Thus began a correspondence between us. When she and her husband did a lot of traveling last summer, they went out of their way to come to Shreveport, Louisiana, to meet me and spend the day with me. Our names brought us together, she being named for her grandmother, who was my great-aunt.

A niece named after me visits often. When we’re out and about, we attract attention by calling each other Janie. I’m not always proud of myself, but I stay proud of my full name.

— Janie Griffith It sounds as though you have a lot to be proud of, for your sibling to have named a daughter after you. Thank you for writing with a testament to how names can bring people together, too.

“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:// www.creatorspublishing.com for more information.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators. com.

ACROSS

1 New England

sch. 6 Dominant 11 Chest protector 14 Up 15 Stunt cyclist, e.g. 16 Valuable

extraction 17 Exhale over

scalding coffee? 19 Bit of muesli 20 Mariners’ home,

familiarly 21 Bilingual subj. 22 July 4th events,

briefly 23 Five-O cop 25 James or Jones

of jazz 27 Discontinue slanted material in articles? 32 Letters of

urgency 34 Long of “In Too

Deep” 35 Broad neckwear 36 One in an airport

queue 37 Talking points? 40 Memorable 1969

bride 41 Harry’s Hogwarts

nemesis 43 Letters in an unfilled sched. slot 44 From the top 45 Visit some animal shelter residents? 49 Classroom “I

know! I know!” 50 First name in

country 51 Did a number 54 Small application 56 Ear inflammation 60 Fire 61 Delay passing a congressional bill? 63 General Mills

cereal 64 Metal giant 65 Debate topic 66 Id follower? 67 Conductor Zubin 68 Arms treaty subj.

DOWN

1 Cities, informally 2 Kunis of “Black

Swan” 3 Starting on 4 Clinched 5 Treaded winter

vehicle 6 Wikipedia lacks

them 7 Untimely? 8 Like alarm clocks 9 Part of HMO 10 Half of a very

high price? 11 Schmo 12 Green Zone

country 13 Action at the

track 18 “That’s all wrong!” 22 Streisand, in

fanzines 24 “The Wizard __” 26 They usually end

up in hot water 27 Plotting group 28 Hill of country 29 iPhone array 30 Top-drawer 31 Stash 32 Adapter letters 33 “Waitress” Tony nominee Bareilles 37 “Hunny” lover 38 Lyft alternative 39 Fashioned from 42 Heavy shoe 44 Saying nay to 46 Plant root growth 47 Pastoral roofing 48 Get one’s hands

on 51 Sushi go-with 52 Allies’ enemy 53 Coming right up 55 One in an UGG

box 57 Shock, in a way 58 Post-op areas 59 “Leave it in” mark 61 Bobby’s wife on

“Dallas” 62 Pilot-licensing

org.