Daily Local News (West Chester, PA)
Overbearing parenting isn’t really the worst thing
All this hoopla about the world’s most obnoxious basketball dad needs insight.
Critics ridicule proud father, Lavar Ball, for being overbearing regarding his three sons Lonzo, LiMelo 15, and LiAngelo, 18, but fathers who care, even many who push the envelope toward a cliff, matter.
The Balls have extraordinary talent and the eldest son, Lonzo, 19, a UCLA freshman, will be a top-five selection in the NBA draft, in spite of the incredible overbearing, outrageous behavior of Father Ball.
Anyone who believes that Lavar Ball’s antics will derail Lonzo’s future know nothing about NBA owners’ desire to fill seats and compete for championships.
Lavar Ball may speak blasphemy with whacky comparisons between Lonzo and NBA superstar Stephen Curry but another famous black father, Richard Williams, boldly predicted super stardom on tennis courts for his black beauty daughters and decades later Venus and Serena Williams represent.
And another father, Earl Woods, knew proper instruction and excessive parental oppression could turn his son Eldrick into an amazing Tiger.
And, another famous father named Archie Manning, said basically that “Hell no, Eli Manning, will sit out a year before ever playing one first down for San Diego Chargers.”
Archie Manning called the shots and except for less vociferous volume, not much difference exists between Archie and Lavar regarding power plays.
Conversely, not many people acknowledge the sound and fury of the current greatest athlete on Mother Earth.
James has won three NBA championships (2012, 2013, 2016), four NBA Most Valuable Player Awards (2009, 2010, 2012, 2013), three NBA Finals MVP Awards (2012, 2013, 2016), two Olympic gold medals (2008, 2012), an NBA scoring title (2008), and the NBA Rookie of the Year Award (2004).
King James moves toward one-half billion dollar status with a wife, solid marriage and three children. Basketball, business ventures and family fill his life.
Well, almost. No father involved in James’ life left a void that looks like the size of a pin prick but feels larger than the Grand Canyon.
LeBron James presented this Instagram message about his estranged father, Anthony McClelland.
“Like, ‘Wow, Dad, you know what, I don’t know you, I have no idea who you are, but because of you is part of the reason who I am today.’ The fuel that I use—you not being there— it’s part of the reason I grew up to become who I am,” James told GQ magazine.
The February 2014 article exposed James’ boyhood hurt that trailed him into manhood, an aching feeling that seeps into bone marrow, an emotional suffering that pains a thousand times worse than arthritis.
Nothing cripples young people more than abandonment, a feeling that someone who played a role in their creation, prefers distanced detachment.
Almost 50 years ago, the death of Ella Melba Parker delivered such a telling blow for this then 11-year-old. With no counseling nor understanding of death, young minds can create their own scenarios.
Months later, our father packed up and abandoned ten children which delivered another whammy of uncertainty before an amazing just-graduated from college sister forfeited most of her young freedom to raise nine sisters and brothers.
James considered that his life may not have been as successful had his dad stuck around to help his mother, Gloria.
We share a similar uncertainty as my inner small boy and current manhood status wonders what might have been.
So, seeing and hearing Lavar Ball presents myriad thoughts about fathers. Naysayers would offer rants if Mr. Ball had stepped out of his sons’ lives, had he been a shadow instead of significant force.
Declarations and histrionics aside, Lavar Ball stands proudly as a father.
The boy persona lurking inside wishes that a loving dad had been around to offer inspiration about being the best columnist, reporter, man, husband, father, and how to turn the double play from second base to my brother, Willie, at first.
At day’s end, dreams powered by love sound significantly different than those manipulated by hurt, shame and discord.