Staying engaged could make a huge impact

We have all received the phone call.

Someone – either a family member or a close friend – has died unexpectedly.

The initial message is followed by moments of questions, shock, grieving.

Then there is the second stunner. The death was a result of suicide.

That news is always followed by such an incredible sinking feeling. The heart stops for a moment. The knees buckle.

Then, there is often an angry reaction.

After relaying one of these tragic situations lately, a friend displayed a touch of anger when saying, “I will never understand how someone gets to such a point where they do that to themselves … and to all the other people in their lives.”

The problem is that the person who has sunk to the lowest depths probably feels they don’t have anyone else in their lives.

More telling is the fact that they often don’t have any-THING in their lives. They have withdrawn from society. They have stopped living life … and that is the first step toward dying.

People who are committed to other people … to causes … to organizations … to community activities are much less likely to stumble down the road to inescapable despair.

Of course, family is always the foremost commitment. But it is not enough. Children, brothers, sisters, parents can turn out to be as much of an example of consternation … as they are a support system.

People need to be involved in the rest of society. Life is a participation sport … not a spectator sport.

Religion is often the answer. Not only does it provide relief for the soul, but it is often a very engaged social setting.

A story in the LA Times revealed that, according to JAMA Psychiatry, there is a definite link between church attendance and a lower suicide rate.

Specifically dealing with suicide among women – a rate that has risen dramatically in America over the last two decades – the findings were remarkable. Compared with women who never participated in religious services, women who attend any religious service once a week or more were five times less likely to commit suicide. The study regarded cases between 1996 and 2010.

While commitment to religion provides a strong argument – commitment to any cause is the best way to stay engaged in the

important activity of living life to its fullest.

We see so many good examples of people who make a commitment to a cause. There are volunteers at hospitals, the legions of people who volunteer time to youth sports – and not just when their own children are involved. The people who volunteer to civic organizations – like Rotary, Kiwanis, Ambucs and many more. And those who recognize the accomplishments of others by volunteering to the Triangle Club, the Montgomery County Coaches Hall of Fame, Special Olympics, the Montgomery County Amateur Championship … and others.

Even participation in a bocce league, a weekly poker game or a yoga class can be a great way to stay engaged – in the process of living.

The bottom line is to keep every day so busy that there is no room for depression to set in.

While suicide often is attributed to a specific event – loss of job, divorce, etc. – there is a similarly strong tie to the withdrawal from society. The best way to combat that is by staying committed – to people, to organizations, to causes.

The first signs of someone sliding down the slippery slope are refusal to engage in what should be seen as enjoyable social settings. Physical problems aside, those who avoid going a ballgame with a group of friends, rejection of a class reunion, a dinner engagement or attendance at a wedding are all early signs of withdrawal. Family and friends can help by spotting these signs … and doing something about it.

Depression is a terrible thing. But it can be dealt with … and even overcome.

And, maybe, we can avoid another one of those terrible phone calls. Tony Leodora is president of TL Golf Services, host of the weekly Golf Talk Live radio show on WNTP 990-AM and host of the Traveling Golfer television show — as well as editor of Golf Styles magazine. He is former sports editor of The Times Herald. Send comments to tlgolfservices@aol.com.