Horoscopes

Aries (March 21-April 19): While “I’ll know it when I see it” is a fine enough guiding principle for a solo artist, groups need a more specific set of rules to go by. A good leader will think it over and spell it out. Taurus (April 20-May 20): Does it please you to know that someone is working hard to impress you? It’s flattering, to say the least, although you must also realize that this has a lot to do with what the individual is projecting onto you. Gemini (May 21-June 21): When it doesn’t work, an explanation for what went wrong is a nice thing to have. Also, it’s a luxury. You don’t get it every time, nor would you want to come up with it every time. To shrug and walk on... that’s grace, too. Cancer (June 22-July 22): There are people you know who have to, in order to survive and act normal, do things you would consider rather strange. Your ability to accept this will be the key to this day going smoothly. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): A very strong bond is built one fiber at a time. And if you want to get microscopic about it it, this happens on a cellular level. Small things, repeated... this is the theme. This is the glue that will bond you to your goal. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Working people often have less leisure time than others. Since time is the most precious commodity we have, it does make one think about the work worth doing, and the work not worth doing.

When things go wrong, it may be circumstances that cause it, but as a responsible person you’re always trying to assess which circumstances you can control and which you can’t. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): Your attention is worth something. You can’t afford to give it away willy-nilly. And you won’t. You won’t click on nonsense or sit through what doesn’t interest you. You won’t look into drama. You’ll keep your nose clean. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’ll be dealing with new people whose sensibilities may surprise you. Like a masseuse working on a new client, the best way to learn what pressure to use is to ask. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Are you thinking big enough? It will be impossible to detect from where you are. It will take an outsider to assess the situation. Who can you bounce your ideas off of? Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A mystery is a thrill. And if the mystery seems like it might actually be safe, all the more exciting — to be thrilled and not killed, that’s the entertainment sweet spot on which books, movies and roller-coaster rides are predicated. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You relate to someone who is solving things and that’s because you are also a part of the solution. Get right in there and give your ideas. You are feeling this way for a reason. Don’t wait for permission; just go. DEAR ABBY >> My wife, a convert to reform Judaism, died this past year. The day before she passed, while she was in a coma, Roman Catholic family members asked if they could bring in a priest. I said OK because I knew it meant a lot to them. A priest came and administered last rites. (My wife was born and raised a Catholic.)

I have been having serious second thoughts about my decision. Nobody outside my family knows about this. Did I make the right call, or should I have politely told my wife’s family that I could not agree to their request?

— Troubled reform Jew

DEAR TROUBLED >> Your wife, who had converted to Judaism, was comatose. What happened at her bedside made no difference to her at that point. It was kind and generous of you to allow the priest to come for the sake of your in-laws. You did it for the right reasons, so please do not second-guess yourself now. What happened does not impugn the authenticity of the Jewish rites that you used to bury her.

DEAR ABBY >> A year ago, my friend “Stephanie” decided to stop cutting hair as her second job. She had done mine, my husband’s and our son’s hair for years. We switched to a stylist she referred us to and have been satisfied with the service.

We just found out Stephanie is going to start cutting hair again, and my husband and I want to switch back to seeing her. The sticky part is, we already have appointments with the new person, and Stephanie’s going to be working at the same salon where she referred us. Is it rude to call and ask to switch our stylist knowing that we will be seeing both of them in the same place?

— Tentative in the Midwest

DEAR TENTATIVE >> No, it is not rude. Tell your new stylist that you have decided to go back to Stephanie in light of your long relationship. Make the switch as cordial as possible. Explain that it has nothing to do with the quality of the stylists’ work. When you visit the salon, be friendly to both stylists. That way, if Stephanie decides to quit cutting hair again or even takes a vacation, you will have someone to fall back on.

DEAR ABBY >> I have read your column for years and notice that many of the letters come from people who let others run roughshod over them or do things to them they are not happy with. My suggestion is a simple adage that has helped me through life: “People can only do to you what you ALLOW them to do to you.”

I realize this may not be a panacea for all situations, and for those who have difficulty asserting themselves it may not come easy. But folks will continue doing to you what you allow them to do until you say no. What do you think, Abby?

— Kip in Austin, Texas

DEAR KIP >> I think your mantra is a helpful reminder for those who need it. However, many individuals need more support than that, and for them I would recommend assertiveness training because one of the hardest words in the English language to say is NO.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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