3 places where Tater Tots rule in the San Fernando Valley area
My family had a strange relationship with Tater Tots. My mother never read the directions on packages, and she didn’t realize that they were supposed to be baked, and served crispy.
Instead, she steamed them in a sort of weird frat house casserole. She’d take a heavy pot, pour a layer of Tater Tots on the bottom, drop a frozen hamburger patty on top of that, and then pour ketchup all over the concoction. Then, she’d put it on the oven, turn the heat on low, and go out to visit friends.
Sometimes she got home before it had turned into a burnt offering. More often, she didn’t. It didn’t make much of a difference. The resulting dish was kind of an edible archeological dig — a layer of tan, topped by a layer of gray, topped by a layer of reddish-brown.
It wasn’t until I had my own apartment, and did my own shopping, that I read the package — and realized what she had made weren’t Tater Tots, they were Tater Mush. (Something I should have realized from looking at the package.)
In the years since, Tots have been a staple in
my freezer. And something I order when I see them on restaurant menus. Not when they’re generic Tots – I can make those myself. But when they’re quirky, sui generis, oddball, out-in-leftfield Tots. Which often they are. Though never Casserole Tots.
Tater Tots come, of course, with a history. But not one that tracks back to antiquity. They were invented in 1953, when the founders of Ore-Ida were trying to figure out what to do with all the slivers of cut-up spuds they had. According to Wikipedia, “They chopped up the slivers, added flour and seasoning, then pushed the mash through holes and sliced off pieces of the extruded mixture. Thus, tots were born…”
The name was created in an effort to find something alliterative — which they did.
Apparently, it got off to a slow start. But once it caught on, Tater Tots became (almost) as popular as french fries. These days, 70 million pounds of Tots are consumed in the USA alone per year. That’s 3.7 billion Tots. Other companies have introduced competitors made of broccoli and cauliflower. But, you know, only a spud is a spud.
For the record, there are competing brands as well, selling under names like Oven Crunchies, Tasti Taters, Tater Treats, Spud Puppies, Hash Bites, Cheesy Tots, Mexi-Nuggets, Potato Oles, Totchos and Potato Locos.
And, to my surprise, my mother’s creation was not unique — Wikipedia informs there’s a popular Midwestern casserole made of Tots, ground beef and veggies. Amazing – I always thought my mother was born and raised in the Bronx.
There also are the one-ofa-kind Tots, served an assortment of Retro-Modern local restaurants. Some of which are happily beyond the beyond. Tots like these:
The Federal Bar
5303 Lankershim Blvd., North Hollywood; 818-9802555, www.thefederalbar. com
The Federal Bar sits in a venerable building that looks as if were on Lankershim Boulevard back when the population of Valley was mostly orange trees. It feels as if it were pulled together from bits of this, and bits of that; during one visit, my table wobbled something awful, and I had to hold on to my chair for dear life.
There’s not much on the menu that hasn’t been “federalized” in some fashion. The pastrami sandwich, with thousand island dressing coleslaw and Swiss cheese is served on Indian naan bread — it’s a NaanStrami. Falafel is made with butternut squash and fried kale.
The house burger — The Federal — is tricked up with smoked cheddar and garlic chips. The vegan hot dog involves a meatless chipotle chili dog, tropical fruit salsa and soy cilantro cream. Tater Tots are made from sweet potatoes. Even the hot sauce on the house wings (Fed Wings) is flavored with fennel, with blue cheese crumbles on top. (It’s hard to stop eating them.)
If there’s a dish that poleaxes me, it’s one that’s found under “Pass-Arounds,” along with the spicy chimichurri lamb chops, the crispy chicken biscuit sliders, and the smoked trout served with a hard-boiled egg. It’s called Disco Poutine — and it’s the house version of a French-Canadian heart stopper of a dish.
Classic poutine is made of fat french fries topped with cheese curds and gravy. In this poutine, the fries are buried under braised short ribs, gruyere and an egg cooked sunnyside up. Compared with the original, it’s actually kind of healthy.
Nat’s Early Bite Coffee Shop
14115 Burbank Blvd., Sherman Oaks; 818-7813040, www.natsearlybite. com
Only accepting orders online at last check, Nat’s Early Bite Coffee Shop isn’t so much a restaurant, as it is a way of life. Those of us who have been around for a while can’t remember a time when there wasn’t a Nat’s on Burbank Boulevard — like Art’s Deli, it seems as if it was there before the Valley was the Valley.
During past visits, waiting for that elusive table, I wondered why the original Nat’s doesn’t have a counter. This is so very much a counter type of eatery. But…there isn’t one. I’m pretty certain that the Denver Omelette I had at Nat’s back in the 1980s, was prepared the same way as the Denver Omelette I had during a recent visit.
Like many of the restaurants that persevere, Nat’s is eternal. Or at least, as eternal as a place that serves corned beef hash this good can be. Though Nat’s is open for both breakfast and lunch, and the lunch section of the menu is actually twice the size of the breakfast section, I mostly think of Nat’s as a breakfast joint. This is, after all, Nat’s “Early Bite,” not Nat’s “Lunch Spot.”
Those early bites are a pleasure, awash with the sort of classic dishes that make the presence of several eggs Benedict variations (on a separate breakfast insert), come as a bit of shock. The Benedicts are done Nat’s style — there’s a corned beef hash Benedict, a turkey sausage Benedict, a California Benedict with avocado. The original Canadian bacon Benedict is found on the regular menu. I guess the newbies are separated so as not to mess with the regular menu’s relentless classicism.
The newbies run to a mix-and-match chilaquiles option, where you choose a salsa, and a meat, to go with the fried corn tortillas scrambled with eggs and onions. I think of chilaquiles as the Mexican equivalent of Jewish matzoh brie — which is also on the menu, made with matzoh instead of tortillas,
and available for a little extra with salami and onions. It’s as much a dish from the old country as the chilaquiles.
Mostly, this is where you go for freshly baked cinnamon rolls and muffins; for a pair of eggs cooked any style (over easy for me, thank you); for bacon, sausage, ham, beef patties or turkey bacon; and for a terrific choice of ultra-crispy home fries, hash browns, Tater Tots or grits — yup, grits, just like down South. And not expected at all.
Porto’s Bakery & Café
3614 W. Magnolia Blvd., Burbank, 818-846-9100; 315 N. Brand Blvd., Glendale, 818-956-5996; www. portosbakery.com
They don’t exactly serve Tater Tots at Porto’s, but they’re close. Porto’s has grown in the nearly 60 years it’s been the goto destination for those hungry for both a mango mousse cake, and for quick eats like the pastel de chorizo, the papas rellenas, and the guava-flavored barbecue sauce pulledpork sandwich. To say nothing of the platos Cubanos of ropa vieja with white rice, black beans and sweet maduro plantains.
The menu is a happy world of classic Cuban dishes, along with more modern California foods that have been added over the years. Thus, there’s a crunchy pre-Tater Tot ball of mashed spuds, filled with well spiced ground beef, with a layer of breadcrumbs that are fried to crispy perfection — call them papas rellenas. Call the meat pies pastel de carne, unless they’re filled chorizo — then, they’re pastel de chorizo, of course.
The tamales are jammed with braised pork, melt in your mouth meat, so good you’ll be spoiled when it comes to future tamales of whatever ethnic bent. The triumphant Cuban sandwich, called Medianoche, is served all day — a wonder of roast pork ham, Swiss cheese and pickles on its own special roll. Its close cousin, the Cubano, comes on bread that’s different,
but not all that different. As does the ropa vieja sandwich, with its meat shredded and tender and oh so good.
You’ve got to wait till after 10 in the morning to snag an order of that aforementioned pulledpork sandwich. Or the Cuban-style burger, known as a frita, made with mixed beef and pork, served on a brioche with a mojo aioli. A strong cuppa goes well with…just about everything.