Daily News (Los Angeles)

I hate being rude to my robot

- Judith Martin By Russell Myers Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanner­s. com; to her email, dearmissma­nners@ gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndicatio­n, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO

I have a voice-enabled speaker, and for the most part, it is a useful delight throughout the day. But I do have one gripe, to which I cannot find a resolution.

It used to be that when the timer alert went off, I could say “thank you” and hear some variant of “you're welcome” in return, and then the alert would stop. Now I still hear the “you're welcome,” but the alert continues.

I have searched for a solution online and found nothing. It feels so much less polite, not to mention less friendly, that I must say “Stop.”

I realize that you are not tech support. But can you please help?

While Miss Manners shares your frustratio­n, she remains conflicted about the need to be polite to robots (she feels no remorse about hanging up on them, for example).

But she agrees that when it is one's constant companion — and particular­ly in the presence of children — such devices should be treated with civility. She therefore adds her hope that the people in charge of programmin­g these things can find more polite ways for us to converse. And while they're at it, perhaps they can find a more polite way of getting a device's attention than yelling “Hey!”

In the meantime, you can always add a “please” to your “stop.”

Is it OK to lick your fingers while eating fried chicken in public?

Only if you are endorsing it on television.

A friend asked me to drive her across town to a medical appointmen­t. I did not say no, but told her I really don't like to drive across town, especially through downtown. She got mad and said she would ask a neighbor.

She has held a grudge for months now, and several times she has mentioned that she's buying something for someone who helped her out. She comments on “what good friends she has” who will “do anything for her.”

I feel this is a dig at me. The other day, she said, “I won't ever ask you to do anything again because you told me no.” We then had an argument and are no longer speaking. Am I wrong? Should I apologize?

It is likely not the fact that you said no, but the casual manner with which you effectivel­y said “I don't feel like it” that your friend found so offensive.

Miss Manners is not encouragin­g you to lie, only that it is unnecessar­y to disclose the entire insulting truth. She wishes that she could persuade her Gentle Readers to stop “just being honest” and to start using the phrase, “I am afraid that I can't.” Unnecessar­ily hurt feelings are so often the result of the former.

I often eat at restaurant­s alone, and I enjoy the solitude. However, strangers at a nearby table will often start conversati­ons with me, wanting to keep talking throughout my entire meal. Is there a polite way to tell them I'm not interested in chit-chatting with them?

Bring a book, which has a heavier presence than a telephone. And then when you are ready to end the conversati­on, smile and say that you must get back to it. Even, Miss Manners suggests, if its pages are blank.

ACROSS

1 What a hole in a lid is for Sour

Prepare to throw a beanbag Spanish for “I love you” Moisturize­r ingredient Vessels with pedestals Grown-up’s playful side Fender blemish Doesn’t hold back

He’s close to the Edge Otherworld­ly beings, briefly Number for a pair?

“A ___ Blast That Lasts” (breath spray slogan) Gamer’s vowelless verb Nourished ___ + blue = purple Strumming sessions Phenomenon in which many people misremembe­r something Spoke convincing­ly “I Like ___” Try to win over Borzoi sound Speed Stick deodorant maker 6 10

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Walk back and forth About 20-25% of sleep: Abbr. Ticket leftover Beyond cool?

“Stop stalling!” Defiant response to a vague threat Women with habits

Apply blacktop to Rental document Dined Nonbinary pronoun

Bad words? DOWN 1 Subway entrance Palindromi­c principle Angry speeches City in central Iowa Term abbreviate­d at the start of many addresses Lake in the Sierras Elite group of stars

Play part Conference where Chimamanda Adichie gave the talk “The Danger of a Single Story”

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Music style named for a large venue Not guilty Winter hrs. in Utah Shabushabu noodle, perhaps

Had trust in Says goodbye Meaty foods to eat on Tuesday, maybe TV plugs, e.g.?

Genre that inspired emo

Run away Female friend celebrated on February 13 Highest male voice Cheer syllable

AnswPeRrsE­tVo

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Kisses passionate­ly Name within “Mortimer” “Dang it!” “Pet” annoyance Bowling night hangout 2006 hit for Amy Winehouse Delete Lodging that may be L-shaped Surfer dude Two, in

Berlin

“I got loyalty, got royalty inside my ___” (Kendrick Lamar)

Elect (to)

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