What are our rights if we’re together many years, not married?

QFifteen years in, with two kids and we now are going our separate ways. We never got married, but have lived together as if we were married. Does this make our relationship a common-law marriage?

ACalifornia does not recognize “common law marriage,” but unmarried couples who have cohabited for an extended period of time do have some rights. One question that arises is whether you have a written or verbal agreement that promises financial support. Perhaps you are familiar with the legal claim of “palimony,” which is similar to alimony, but for couples who have had an ongoing cohabitation (not a formal marriage). If there is no written agreement, it is possible one can be implied from conduct, such as your joint banking practices, pooling money for purchases, reasons why you did not marry and joint credit cards.

Bottom line, it is best to consult with a qualified attorney concerning your situation. Also, keep in mind that in California, parents have a mandatory duty to support their children regardless of being married or not. The right to child support belongs to the child.

QWe have dated nearly two years and are going to live together. We have no formal or set plans on actually getting married. Can you tell us about a cohabitation agreement?

A

A cohabitation agreement is a binding contract for persons who live together and are romantically involved, but not married. It can address, among other topics, personal and financial issues the couple may deal with if they later go their separate ways or if one dies. The agreement is not controlled by family law, but the civil code. If circumstances arise that lead to a lawsuit, it would be filed in civil, not family law, court. This is because the emphasis is on the contract, not the marital relationship.

There are various objectives with a cohabitation agreement: Protecting assets, setting expectations and allocating expenses. Other issues include determining who pays what bills and how wages, vehicles, debts and retirement plans are treated. A plan can be agreed upon to cover some level of post break-up support if the parties so choose. The agreement can also address responsibilities if one or more children come into the household.

Naturally, it makes good sense to sit down with a competent lawyer to have this contract prepared. While not mandatory, the respective parties would be most prudent to have their own lawyers. If one lawyer assists both of you, you'll need to sign a conflict of interest waiver agreement.