Friend likes to blurt out everyone's financial status
A friend has a dreadful habit of always mentioning, as an aside, how wealthy — or strapped — someone is when their name comes up in conversation. Some of these people I know, some I do not.
I wish I had addressed this habit when she was still merely an acquaintance, but it's only now that we often speak on the phone that it is glaringly obvious to me.
I would really like a good response other than my silence or changing the subject, which has had no effect. Perhaps something gentler than my inclination to blurt, “You know, that's rude.”
“How fortunate you are to have friends so close that they even share their financial information. I am shy about such things and would never talk about it to anyone except my accountant.”
If you are feeling bold, Miss Manners will allow adding, “... for fear of its being passed along.”
I was at a social event, and a dance teacher I have taken a few classes with was also attending as a guest. She came over to say hi to the woman sitting next to me, and gave her a big hug.
As the teacher turned away from her friend, her head and body were pointed towards me, less than 4 feet away. I said, “Hi, Delia.” She looked through me and walked away. I know for a fact that the teacher knows my name and face.
I believe this is called a cut. I have done it to someone myself, once in my life.
Now, I know why Delia is mad at me: A couple of years ago, I spoke out of turn in her class, uttering a single, ordinary word that was interpreted (probably correctly) as critical of her teaching. When I returned to her class on a later date, she allowed me to attend (after telling me off) and encouraged me to participate, so I thought we were OK.
Apparently not. So, what is the correct response? Should I refrain from saying hi in the future? Keep saying hi to see what happens? Avoid her classes? (I think I will have to, as that was just too awful.) Also, I should not discuss this with anyone who knows her, right?
Perhaps she missed it, but Miss Manners sees no mention of an actual apology anywhere in the above exchange. She suspects that Delia similarly missed it. If you do not think she is a good teacher, then do not attend her classes.
But if you choose to, you must be respectful.
To repair the current situation, you might say, “I thought we had resolved the unpleasantness from before, but I do not think I ever properly apologized. I am sorry that I was disrespectful in your class and I hope that you can forgive me.”
And then please refrain from any more single, ordinary and/or offensive words in the future, unless your plan is to be cut again — socially or permanently from the class.
ACROSS
1 Bit of parsley 6 Foot treatment, for short Tarzan might swing on one “Really no need to explain further”
Suffix for “senior”
“One of you has betrayed me”
Get back to a host
Mattar paneer legume Roadside stopover Noodle soup with a tonkotsu variety Phillipa of “Hamilton” Piece of art that depicts a scene Overblown flattery Belgian chocolate company
Like some R-rated humor
“___ is 20/20” College west of Penn Wanders Apply sloppily Handles paired with passwords Bridle straps Sports analyst McFarland Roaring beasts
10
14
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
25
27
28
29 32
33 34
35
37 38
39
40
Reunion attendee, often FaceTime software Leave alone Himalayan region that celebrates Losar
What makes the earth turn?
“The Wizard of Oz” pooch Cliched excuse for missing homework Mystery writer, for short?
They may elicit sighs of relief Actress Russo
Word after “jam” or “cuddle”
57 Faintly lit? DOWN
1 Lose traction 2 Show about drag ball culture Tomato variety Barinholtz of “The Mindy Project”
“___ Girls” (2000-2007 TV series) Bog material Raison d’___ Sounds heard on landlines Addams family cousin Internet uploads that are viewed millions of times
42
43 44
47
50
51
53
54
55
56 3 4
5
6 7 8
9
10
11
12
13
15
21
22
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
“I’m baaacckk!” Skin care brand
College sports channel
Apt rhyme for “doom”
Stats for sluggers “Instrument” for a “womp womp” moment
Does sum work?
Hindi honorifics It may be pressed at the start of a video call Person who donates “Brain” hidden in “logic puzzle” Unpretentiously simple Fifth-century invaders
31
33
36
37
39 40
41
45
46 47 48
49
51
52
“Friday Night Vibes” channel Pasta sauce brand
“___ of your beeswax!”
It’s “read” during a scolding Feudal figure Place to exchange vows
Sierra ___ (African country) Words exchanged at weddings “Poppycock!” Assist Massage therapist’s supplies
Site for selling handmade crafts
Hosts, informally
___ chi
Answers to yesterday's puzzle