Couple eye speed bump ahead
I've been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend, “Mack,” for about 25 years. Eleven years ago we became more like roommates. I asked him to go to couples counseling, but he adamantly refused.
He said, “If you don't like it, find someone else.”
Long story short, I began an affair with an acquaintance of ours. After a short time, the affair came to light and Mack agreed to couples counseling, which was very helpful. I cut off all contact with the other man and any social contacts he and his wife were involved with. Mack and I made new friends, and our relationship is stronger than ever.
The problem is, we have been invited to a wedding of the son of some very dear friends, BUT the other man and his wife will also be attending. Mack refuses to go to the wedding or allow me to go. What do you think?
— Back on Track in N.Y.
I think it's regrettable that your partner is unwilling or unable to face your former lover and his wife, be cordial for a couple of hours and concentrate on the celebration. But that's the way it is. Send a gift for the bride and groom and stay home.
I usually don't let things bother me, but I sent my phone number about a week ago (via Messenger) to several friends I have known most, if not all, of my life. Due to various circumstances, until recently I hadn't seen them in a long time. Everyone received it; not a single one sent me back theirs. I know several of them stay in touch with each other.
I'm not sure how to feel about this other than a bit rejected.
— Wondering in Texas
While you were separated from these friends (due to various circumstances) it's possible that circumstances may have changed in their lives, too. Rather than conclude their lack of reaction is rejection, consider that their lives may have gone in different directions, and they may be too busy to rekindle your relationship on the basis that it was before. Because you can't change the way they behave, change the way you react to it.
I dream about many things. I have dreams about school, in which I'm either a student or the parent of one (and in some cases, both simultaneously). I have recurring dreams about certain houses, stores and locations. I also dream about my children when they were growing up or other people from my past. I never dream about my husband of 43 years. Should I be concerned about this?
— In Dreamland Out West
No. Your dreams appear to be centered on the past. Your husband is in the present.