Serious question: Do you play?
Q
A friend recently told me about an art workshop she attended with several other older and midlife adults that was pure fun. She said everyone was told they were artists before participating in a scribbling and coloring exercise with no rules or expectations. My friend talked about a sense of freedom she experienced. My guess is if a child were doing this, this workshop would be called play. As a newly retired 69-year-old, I feel I am not playing at all and not even sure how to go about it. Any suggestions?
— D.P.
A
Your question resonates with me. Here is a personal story. A number of years ago I attended a meeting in Indianapolis. The group facilitator presented a warmup exercise. All participants in the room were asked to comment on what they did for fun this past year. That was the year my husband passed away. As everyone was sharing their fun activity, I kept thinking, “I have nothing to say.” Finally, I said, “Playing with my grandson,” which was true. At a dinner that evening, I had the honor of sitting next to a university president. After chatting a few moments, he leaned back in his chair and asked, “So, Helen what do you do for fun?” Again, I had a difficult time answering his questions and thought, “Do I have a problem?” Although this experience occurred some time ago, it has stayed with me. Play often is left behind while we are consumed with work and busy with family and friends.
Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of the National Institute for Play, defines it as “purposeless, all-consuming and fun.” Play is most often associated with children, nurturing their creativity, critical thinking, personality development and flexibility. Yet play also benefits those in later life. Engaging in play alleviates stress and can trigger the release of endorphins, often referred to as the feel-good chemicals, leading to a sense of well-being.
Play has been used as a stress reducer by luminaries. Soccer icon David Beckham says he plays with Lego bricks to calm himself. David Cameron, Britain's former prime minister, is known to decompress at the end of a long day by playing the video game Angry Birds.
Older adults have reported improved brain function as a result of playing chess or solving puzzles. Play also stimulates creativity, enhances problem-solving, improves relationships and can even help in making new friends.
Brown says play is not just for kids. The type of play that excites adults the most may be related to what he calls play personalities. He found that most people have one of eight dominant types.
This person gathers things and experiences, which might consist of toys, stamps, coins, pitchers, shoes or cars, or even evidence of certain star
constellations.
THE COMPETITOR >> He or she competes to win, not just for the fun of the game. That could be participating in a team sport, playing a video game or just being an observer.
THE DIRECTOR >> These folks are referred to as born organizers and enjoy planning events and guiding activities. They are great party givers and love to make things happen, and often become dynamic social centers of power and activities.
THE CREATOR/ARTIST >> This type finds great joy in creating something by painting, woodworking, gardening, sewing or knitting and so on. Think of the great artists, or even Steve Jobs, who combined aesthetics with function and technology.
THE EXPLORER >> Exploration can be physical, such as searching for new vacation spots or exploring a cave, or emotional, as in deepening feelings through music and movement. The explorer might engage in science, technology or even politics.
THE JOKER >> Today's jokers might have been the class clown. They like to make people laugh.
THE KINESTHETE >> These folks like to move. Some need to move to think. They like to feel the exertion and movement of their bodies in activities such as football, dance, yoga, swimming or jumping rope.
THE STORYTELLER >> Imagination is the key, writes Brown. Storytellers can be authors, playwrights, screenwriters or cartoonists. They can tell a story through dance, acting, lectures or magic tricks.
These categories are not based on science but on thousands of interviews and observations, according to Brown. They may be useful in stimulating new ways to engage in play, if one or more categories look like great fun.
George Bernard Shaw is said to have expressed the following view on play: “We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
D.P., thank you for your good question. Our challenge is to make time for play without feeling guilty that we are not solving climate change or contributing to our gross national product — at least for the moment.
Stay well, enjoy this holiday season and know kindness is everything.