Excluding partners from the family photo
You don’t want nonfamily members to be in the family picture. How do you break the news to your kids’ significant others?
If having a conversation with the nonfamily member is potentially hurtful, just include him or her. Do your research to find a photographer who is confident in directing group poses and interactions, and let the photographer know your expectations in advance.
Find a balance of posed shots — including and excluding significant others — then spend the remainder of the time interacting and having fun. With a session gallery producing 50 to 100 images, just frame the photos you want; everyone is happy. You might find that more truly can be merrier in a family session.
— Kate Bek, Chicago lifestyle and family portrait photographer
Say, “This will be the group photo with everyone now, and then we will re- verse it to how it all began — to the core unit.” You could do it the opposite way too. Work it so that you get the people you actually want in the picture.
If someone feels left out once you take photos of just the original family — after you’ve already accommodated him or her — say, “I’m sorry you feel like this, but you have not been left out.” The person needs to understand that the family unit existed before he or she was a part of it.
Share in advance that the photos will be in different groups, so people aren’t surprised when they arrive. Tell your child first, and have him or her warn the partner. Make sure your child reinforces that there will be family photos taken in different groups and that there will be some photos the partner may not be in.
— Misty Harris, etiquette and life skills expert Social Graces is a weekly series asking two experts for advice on awkward situations.