A LEGACY OF MILITARY SERVICE
I remember the limestone at Lorraine American Cemetery being cool to the touch despite the French summer heat. I ran my fingers over my great-grandfather’s name, letter-by-letter. Seventy years before, in the murderous din of World War II, a German shell tore through his tank, extinguishing his life. He left behind a wife, two sons and a legacy that inspired numerous descendants to serve in the U.S. military.
I thought about the pain my grandfather endured after losing his father at age 7. I hearkened back to the tales of my distraught great-grandmother who could barely speak of her late husband in the aftermath of the war — a loved one whose remains she never got to bury. But as my eyes scanned the remainder of the wall and then to a seemingly endless expanse of white crosses extending from it, I became mindful in that hallowed ground lay 10,489 other Americans — each with a family that felt that same stinging sorrow.
But what of those feelings of sorrow now? Over the years, the number dwindles of those who experienced the emotional trauma of losing a flesh-and-blood friend or loved one in the cataclysmic wars of the last century. As that number shrinks and historical amnesia sinks in, Americans’ feelings towards those who lose a loved one to war shift from empathy to sympathy.
While the difference seems subtle, the ability of Americans to collectively feel for those who lose someone to war versus simply feeling bad for them can change the way we think about the decision to use military force. The average American is growing distant from veterans and their families who are called upon across generations to fight the nation’s wars, and endure the nation’s losses. I fear as this gap between civilians and the military grows, so too will the casual willingness to wield the sword of war as risks and consequences of fighting are bore by a parochial group of serving families.
We live in an era where likelihood of multiple generations of veterans coming from the same family is increasing. The report, “Generations of War,” by the Center for a New American Security states that in 2015, 83% of new military recruits had family who served or is serving in the military. Of those recruits, 42% had military parents.
When coupled with the report’s claim that nearly 45% of all 2015 military recruits came from southern cities, it becomes evident much of the population answering the call of duty springs from the same families and the same communities, generation-after-generation.
With familial ties providing the greatest exposure to veterans and military culture, these trends suggest, barring any significant changes, the American populace will grow distant from the military community in future years as the same families bear the burden of conflict. This distance from military families and veterans means Americans will be further removed from the direct hardships of deployment, from wounds suffered by loved ones in battle, and from the pain endured when gazing upon a flag-draped coffin returning from overseas.
For the military community, the wars are real and have grave consequences. Memorial Day provides an opportunity to remember and honor those loved and lost, not only as a collective group, but as the individual fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends and neighbors they were. This reflection about Memorial Day — of the dead as individuals — is not reserved for those who personally experienced the death of a loved one in war. The American citizen must strive to know those lost in war in the same way because their life was lost for ideas and values we hold most dear.
It is my hope and the hope of many veterans this Memorial Day that Americans think about those lost in war for who they were and know living veterans and service members in the same fashion. Reflecting in this way and establishing these relationships can limit the civil-military divide.
We must ensure that Americans take personal stock in those who died in past conflicts and — most importantly — in the decision to send current service members into battle where they might make the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of a grateful nation. U.S. Army Capt. Jimmy Byrn is a Poquoson native now serving in Kosovo. His views do not reflect the views of the U.S. Army, Department of Defense or the U.S. government.