Stop comparing yourself to others
Make these 3 productive moves instead
2. Everyone is unique and has a different level of talent.
Some people are born with a high IQ. Some people naturally have amazing hand-eye coordination. Others have a natural knack for music or math or art. We are each individual beings with unique strengths and talents. Judging yourself by another person’s strength is an apples-to-oranges comparison.
3. The resources available to you and other people are different.
If you want to play the violin and your father is a wealthy concert violinist, you have a huge advantage over someone born into a financially challenged family with no experience in music. So often, we don’t even know what advantages someone may have had that helped them get where there are.
4. There’s always someone better.
There are only a handful of people who can make a reasonable claim to being the best at anything. There are nearly eight billion people in the world. That’s a lot of people you have to surpass to be the best, so what’s the point of comparing yourself to your friend, the person standing next to you, or anyone else?
Let’s try something more productive:
1. Compare yourself to yourself.
Pay attention to your progress over time. Notice your improvement. As long as you’re making headway, you have a good reason to be excited. Strive to become better each day and use that as your motivation.
2. Limit exposure to social media.
In theory, social media exists to connect people. In reality, it can do just the opposite as “friends” show you only what they want you to see and not necessarily the whole truth. What you get is the “highlight reel,” and it can appear that everyone, except you, is living a spectacular life. They aren’t, so look away.
3. Use the success of others as a source of inspiration, not comparison.
Study how the best people — those at the top of their game — got there. See what you can learn from their success and work to become the best you can be.
It is important to remember that even someone who is the best at something has their struggles and failures. We are all unique and the most we can be is our own best selves. As Japanese monk Ogui (Sensei) said, “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”
Amy Kan is a leadership coach with a focus on women’s advancement and authentic leadership.