The bias against child-free employees
How to ensure they’re valued equally alongside parents
As a senior HR professional working for a forwardthinking company, I am proud to have helped implement policies that support parents in terms of flexible schedules, childcare and parental leave. One of Patagonia’s hallmarks is our awardwinning childcare facility, and I’m a huge proponent of this and other measures to make life as a parent easier and more fulfilling.
We’re starting to see more of these kinds of measures being implemented to support parents across the board — especially during the pandemic. I’m all for this. But how are child-free people being included and valued in their workplace? Which policies are in place to ensure their needs are met?
A senior lawyer working in the Bay Area told me how, prior to the pandemic, the parents of small children would file out by 5:15 p.m. each day to collect their children from childcare and head home, while child-free colleagues stayed at their desks until the work was, well, done.
“I know many parents also log on later in the evening, but if they’ve missed an important call or haven’t had time to read the latest documents we’ve received, it falls to me and my child-free colleagues to pick up the slack,” he told me. “There’s a disparity in expectation as to when the working day ends and what gets done during it. I’m given the message that my non-work life is less important, sometimes explicitly.”
If we are bringing our full selves to work, where does that leave those who don’t have children but do have beloved pets? Or family members or friends for whose care they are responsible? Or non-work passions?
In the U.S., more than 71% of adults live without children under their roof. As people are becoming parents later (or not at all), the demographic of our workplaces is shifting. And it’s time to address the disharmony created when parents and non-parents are treated differently by employers in terms of the key ways the work relationship is defined: time and money.
In our society, the consistent message is that if you opt not to have children, your life is less meaningful. To become a parent is the norm, and anything else is a deviation from that norm.
Solving the problem
We need to provide healthy lives for all employees, allowing everyone to work effectively, efficiently and purposefully.
With COVID-19, many parents have added homeschooling to their repertoire, as well as increased caregiving responsibilities. Families are under unprecedented stress. In response, a significant number of companies, including Patagonia, have put in place extra support for working parents.
But the assumption that only parents are struggling is false: Everyone needs support. All of us are struggling with high levels of stress, anxiety and fear.
A friend and HR exec told me that after a recent meeting about changes to increase flexibility for working parents during the pandemic, she was emailed by a child-free colleague with a simple question: “What about me?” My friend ended up having a lengthy conversation with this colleague about the challenges she was facing during the pandemic: an elderly mom who lives on the other side of the country, a brother who’d been laid off, her boyfriend being based overseas, and her own loneliness. This conversation startled my friend. “Truthfully, I hadn’t even worried about her,” she told me. “I just assumed everyone without kids was fine. I was wrong.”
The disparity between the expectations on parents and child-free employees, and the compensation (financial or otherwise) they receive, has been heightened with COVID-19. Understandably, it’s touching nerves.
We need to work much harder to ensure that these kinds of rifts and squabbles do not occur. They cause unnecessary resentment, polarized thinking and potentially destroy harmonious working relationships.
A path forward
Employees and leaders alike need to take active steps to make sure inclusivity is a day-to-day fact of how we lead our work lives — not a distant, hollow target. Together, we can change corporate culture so that it embraces, not undermines, our individuality.
Leaders need to make sure that team members are given the opportunity to be heard, and that their requests are genuinely listened to and accommodated. Here are some policies and changes companies can implement to ensure a more inclusive culture:
Equal maternity and paternity leave, paid for up to six months (with another optional six months of unpaid leave).
Paid sabbatical leave for all child-free employees, structured such that it’s equal to the leave provided to parents.
Make working hours and conditions more flexible for all employees to live balanced, fulfilling lives.
Ensure culture aligns with flexible, livable policies. Put an end to casual comments like “Oh, working a half day?” when someone leaves at 5 p.m., or overlooking someone for promotion simply because they’ve taken the full allowance for parental leave.
Embody open, transparent communication. When changing policy that applies to one group, for example, don’t do it on the sly, and don’t drop it unannounced or unexplained.
Leveling the playing field
This year has been marked by uncertainty and turbulence. No one knows exactly how the future will play out. I see a unique opportunity for honest, compassionate dialogue that helps us reassess and shift organizational policy and culture toward real inclusivity in the workplace.
Here’s one place companies can start to make change right now: Ensure child-free employees are respected equally alongside parents.