How to address mansplaining

Dear Miss Manners: I’m a woman in my 50s with decades of professional experience working for high-profile individuals. Nevertheless, I am overwhelmed with how ageism and sexism are affecting me.

One of my children has been ill for years, so we’ve been more on welfare than off, leaving me with an illness myself.

It’s become apparent that my expertise is no longer needed in a workplace as I can’t even get interviews, so I became a tech entrepreneur.

I try to be patient until people “get” me. However, I am delirious with rage at the number of arrogant men between 20 and 35 who try to dominate me at work. It’s the young men with three to10 years of experience who are mind-bogglingly condescending.

I told one, whom I knew pretty well, “You are mansplaining and it’s annoying.” He cried and we couldn’t work together anymore. I want to nip this in the bud as early as possible so we can get down to business. Got anything for me?

Gentle reader: Yes: sympathy. But only with the caveat that, as irritating as these young men may be, you still have to be polite to them. Telling someone they are annoying or making generalizations about their demographic is neither friendly, polite nor fair — traits for which you claim to be known.

“Yes, I believe I just said that” is a way to show displeasure at “mansplaining.”

The business world is having a moment right now wherein it is addressing the historically dominant voices that have previously prevailed. Miss Manners hopes that your office will take advantage of the restructuring. If not, perhaps you can suggest it.

To send a question to the Miss Manners team of Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, go to missmanners.com or write them c/o Universal Uclick,1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.