Daily Press (Sunday)

Planner in a funk over big mistake

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Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I’m a planner and very on top of my calendar. But I recently made a huge scheduling mistake to the tune of hundreds of dollars and hundreds of embarrassi­ng apologies. It’s set me into a funk. If I’m not good at the one thing I’m good at, then what am I good at? How does one come back from this, and am I still allowed to be good at something I messed up so badly? — New Phone Who Dis?

Dear New Phone Who Dis?:


Being good at something does not equal being perfect at something.

And, for fun:

Being worthwhile does not equal being good at something.

I don’t have enough to go on to even guess your reasons for putting so much stock in being good at something … and identifyin­g such a thing in the first place, and defining it so narrowly … so I’ll just say generally that you have value and are worthy of love if you can’t get through a day without double-booking plans or being late for everything or burning a kettle of water or tripping over your feet. You’re “allowed” to be as human as you are.

So the question I really want to answer is, “May I give myself some grace and watch bad movies all weekend?” Because the answer is, yes, give yourself some grace and watch bad movies all weekend.

I work for a venue that has concerts, Broadway shows, comedy

Dear Carolyn:

shows, etc. While comp tickets aren’t a guarantee, occasional­ly I get comp tickets to see shows and bring along a guest. A couple of friends who know this continuall­y ask me to request comps for shows for them. I’m uncomforta­ble with this. I’ve let them know that I don’t want to abuse the policy and that comps are a courtesy and not a given.

I really like these friends; however, I’m irritated that they keep asking me to request tickets — I find it rude. I’m happy to include them from time to time when I’ve made my own ticket requests, but don’t like being asked to do so. What are your thoughts on handling this? — I’m Not Your Hookup

Dear I’m Not Your Hookup:

Have you said, plainly, “No, I will not request comps, that would be an abuse of the policy. Please stop asking me to be your hookup”? With the softener, if you’d like: “I’m happy to share with you when I can, but it’s between me and my employer. That’s it. We good?”

If you haven’t, then that kind of clarity is an act of friendship. Help them stop making unwitting pests of themselves.

If you have been this clear, then your friends are being pests wittingly, because free shows matter more to them than your friendship — which will eventually wear the “I really like these friends” down to sand.

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