Worker feels lonely without colleague

Dear Harriette: Recently, my only real friend at work moved away. We had been co-workers for the last few years, and in that time, they became a major part of what I enjoyed so much about my job. It’s the first time I’ve ever worked this job without them, and it’s hard for me to adjust. They had been at this job longer than me, so I felt comfortable confiding in them, having a lunch buddy and generally just having someone to enjoy the office experience with. I feel alone at work now. How do I adjust? — Missing My Co-Worker

Dear Missing My Co-Worker:

We do become friends with the people we spend the most time with, so it’s natural that you formed a close bond with your co-worker. Hopefully

you two will remain friends, even though the job is no longer your glue.

Beyond this person, you are still at work, and other people are there, too. Open your eyes and notice who works with you. Pay attention so that you can observe who is interesting to you. How do your co-workers spend their downtime? What is on their desks? Do you see any signs of similar hobbies or family ties? Take your time to discover new things about your colleagues. Invite them to coffee or drinks after work if you think it would be enjoyable. Basically, open yourself up to the possibility of connecting with someone new at work. Your mindset alone will create space for you to see others and for them to see you.

Dear Harriette: My son has barely reached puberty, and he already has very strong underarm odor. I am afraid to have him wear deodorant at a young age, but he needs something. I have heard such bad things about antiperspirants and cancer. I don’t want to introduce his body to anything that may harm him, but we have to do something. What do you recommend? — Smelly Pits

Dear Smelly Pits: Take a trip to your pediatrician and get your son a physical. Check to make sure it’s nothing more than normal hormonal changes that is causing the strong odor. Ask the doctor for recommendations for how to get the odor in check. Of course, your son needs to clean his body well, something that is not always a strong suit for adolescent boys. You may need to teach him how to wash his body thoroughly. Do not assume that he knows because you bathed him as a child.

Beyond basic hygiene, your doctor may be able to recommend a deodorant — not an antiperspirant — that can help to keep odor in check. There are many natural deodorants on the market. Ask the doctor if any of those might work. The issue there is that some of them may not cut or mask odor effectively. Do your research. There are safe alternatives to chemical antiperspirants to help your son.