Do superlative compliments start to feel insincere?

Hi, Carolyn: I am a person who feels strongly about a lot of things. I am vocal about loving things: I love to give compliments, describe things positively, or name what I like about a friend or a movie or a city or my partner. I worry, however, that my habit of describing so many things as so very good will cheapen the compliments in others’ eyes. It isn’t that I’m using language so over-the-top that it makes people uncomfortable, it’s just that, for me, a lot of things are wonderful/amazing/ beautiful/ incredible/etc. But I really don’t want to sound insincere. Thoughts? — Big on Superlatives

Dear Big on Superlatives:

What an incredible question!

Some people will love your style. Some will find it insincere. Anything wrong with knowing you will appeal to a specific audience?

I also believe doubters will come around as they recognize this as your authentic self. That’s really the thing — to be authentic and let relationships sort themselves out. If you feel lonely, then adjust. Otherwise, let it fly.

Readers say: My colleague is like this. When they were hired, it irked me. Now I love it. And I realized it irked me because I wasn’t used to people being so nice and looking for the good. I would do anything to help this colleague!

I have a friend like this. When she tells me my outfit is “the cutest thing she’s ever seen,” I know she doesn’t mean it literally, but I take it as a genuine compliment. It doesn’t come off to me as insincere, just enthusiastic.

How many marriages is a person expected to attend for an individual? We just received an invitation for a third wedding for a friend of ours. His first wedding lasted six weeks, his second two years. In between each marriage, there have been serious girlfriends who were “the one” but turned out not to be. Needless to say, my husband and I have little expectation this marriage will last, either.

We disagree over how to respond to this invitation. I say enough. My husband says we should attend and bring another gift even if we don’t hold high expectations for this marriage.

What are the guidelines for a situation such as this? — Concerned Friend

Dear Carolyn:

Dear Concerned Friend: With that attitude, attend zero of his weddings.

Your friend has some stuff going on, OK. But

I’ve found this handy in my own life: If someone’s stuff isn’t mean, selfish or intended to harm, then my sitting in judgment of the person is worse than whatever the person is doing.

The straight-up, wedding-specific answer: Attendance is never required, and it’s rude to expect it. An RSVP is required and expected, but a reason for saying “no” is neither.

Maybe your husband goes, and you sit this one out? Maybe the next one, too.