To connect with students, teach love and respect

I have been a professional educator for more than 40 years, and I have had the privilege to work with students at all levels of our educational system, from teaching fourth and fifth graders in a three-room schoolhouse deep in the Virginia coalfields to hooding successful doctoral students at West Virginia University.

Teaching the universal truth about the power of love is essential. Divisiveness and derision are the forces that keep all of us in a constant state of anxiety and defensiveness. The phrase, “All you need is love,” was made ubiquitous in 1967 by The Beatles. Those times were also divisive and derisive. As simple as it sounds to expect all things to be made right by love is as true now as it was when Jesus told his disciples that love was the most powerful force that could be harnessed 2,000 years before John Lennon and Paul McCartney reminded us of what could come if we believed and acted on this truth.

Teaching all students at every level how to love and respect one another is the most important lesson. The idea is to present the concept as the best way to conduct class so all feel safe and enjoy teaching and learning. Consider the following description of a pedagogical approach.

Classes begin with the check-in circle. The technique is often depicted in film. Students are given a prompt to consider before they speak. They identify themselves and talk about the prompt. Opening every class in this manner gives the instructor a chance to read students in a way that goes beyond putting a check in a date box to signify their physical presence. To be occupying space in a room does not mean one is present.

As the semester begins, students are notified that no technology is used for the first part of the class at check-in. In the first check-in, students are asked to tell who they are, where they are from, and why they are on their current path. The quiet few minutes that are given as think-time does two things. The thinktime sharpens the students’ focus on the internal question, why am I here? It also gently moves them to become present in the moment. Their eye contact with one another goes up, and they become engaged.

The moment students begin looking at one another and listening to the speakers identify themselves to relate who they are and where they are from, they start becoming present. No class begins without the check-in circle exercise. As the semester rolls on, students show a willingness to be present and engage with their classmates in a meaningful way.

With each passing class, students become more comfortable relating their thoughts and ideas about the day’s topics. They begin to show each other who they are, and that they have much in common. Engagement becomes natural and relaxed. Smiles and laughter become the rules and not the exceptions to the rules.

By the end of a semester, the check-in circle takes on a life of its own. I can come in and take my place and not speak, not know the topic of conversation and, eventually, one of them will explain what they are talking about and invite me in. One of my graduate students called it the circle of trust.

Preparing our next generation of care providers across all fields and at all levels is of the utmost importance. They must be able to see every human being as a person of great worth. Holding an unconditional positive regard for every student in their classrooms, every patient in their offices, and every person they encounter. The goal is to help students understand that love is the most powerful force on earth and that each can be an agent and purveyor of this truth.