Cull those journals of the ‘icky bits’

DearAmy: I’ve been writing inmy journals since elementary school. I have kept every single one of them, tucked safely away in the back ofmy closet, for years. I’ll look through them occasionally just to see what lifewas like for me at certain points.

I still write inmy journals, and I just turned 60 this past summer.

I guess that because of the advent of COVID-19, I worry about whatwould happen to these journals if I should suddenly get ill and could not “get rid” of them. Those books hold years and years ofmy deepest thoughts, fears, anxieties and secrets. Honestly, I’d be mortified for anyone to read these. Howdo I handle these personal treasures?

— Closet Case

Dear Closet Case: One idea I have is for you to take this opportunity to cull through yourwork, creating a document (including dates) of some of your experiences, quoting from your diaries and creating a timeline of your life. Youmay remember whenNeil Armstrong first walked on the moon. Did youwrite about that from the perspective of a second grader?

You might have written about experiences with your grandparents, parents and siblings: camping trips, carnival rides, weddings, and holiday celebrations. Ordinary days are alsoworth noting.

Leave out the “icky bits” (we diary-keepers all have them), and make a printed copy of your edited version.

If you choose to do this, after you complete your work, put your diaries away with instructions among your important papers that they be destroyed (without reading).

After six months, revisit your diaries, and if you believe you have followed through on your original intentions, then you can destroy your diaries yourself, leaving your edited version behind.

Basically, I’m suggesting that you make your choice and then sit on the originals for long enough to believe that you’ve made the best choice. DearAmy: AmI being unreasonable? I toldmy husband that ifwewere to pay a visit to his sister’s home, we should stay in a hotel because she doesn’t turn on the heat (she lives in Canada, andwe live in a warm state), and because she insists on taking us to their Jehovah’sWitness church and making us watch videos about their faith.

I do notwantmy children exposed to that. My husband says it’s only one time and will not be enough time to indoctrinate our children. We are relaxed Catholics.

I don’t mind visiting her city in Canada without seeing her, butmy husband says that’s rude.

This situation has come up often, andwe can’t seem to agree. AmI wrong?

— DistressedMama Dear Distressed: As of this writing, the border between theU.S. and Canada is (basically) closed, due to the pandemic.

If things open up, you won’t have to face any of these choices if you simply decide to let your husband take the kids to see his sister, while you stay home.

I almost always think a hotel stay is preferable to inconveniencing a host for an extended stay, especially if there are kids involved.

However, when it comes to the lack of heat in her home, aswe who live in the FrozenNorth like to say (between the months of October andMay), “put on a sweater.”

I fail to see what is so dangerous about witnessing howpeople of other faithsworship, but if this fellowship is in direct spiritual conflict with your own “relaxed” practice, then the wisest choice might be for your husband to skip the visit to the KingdomHall altogether, or agree to a truncated visit, drive separately and meet his sister afterward. DearAmy: “Concerned Friend” reported that his friend of many years (a man) was the victim of physical abuse at the hands of his wife.

Amy, thank you for publishing this letter. Iwas also physically abused by my ex-wife. Iwas so ashamed and embarrassed. Only one person took whatwas happening seriously. I genuinely believe that this one person savedmy life.

— BeenThere

Dear Been There: I’m cheering for you. Victims of domestic violence (male and female) can contact theNational Domestic ViolenceHotline.