Daily Southtown

COVID-19 danger isn’t a game of Risk

- By Amy Dickinson askamy@amydickins­on.com Twitter @askingamy Copyright 2020 byAmy Dickinson Distribute­d by Tribune Content Agency

DearAmy: Recently Iwas alarmed to see on Facebook that a few friends had attended a huge gathering where peoplewere not followingC­OVID-19 safety guidelines.

I have been meeting with friends (only outside) this summer, but as the weather cools, I amwonderin­g if it will be safe to have a few people over for, say, a game night.

Is there any politeway to ask potential invitees if they have been in any large, unmasked groups recently?

Or should I just give up on a social life until a vaccine is available?

— Careful in Colorado

Dear Careful: It is wisest to stay up to date regarding CDCand your state and local guidelines, which frequently change.

Your question, however, is about howto ask people a very simple, commonsens­e and straightfo­rward question: “Have you been to any gatherings where you or others didNOT followCOVI­D-19 safety guidelines and where you might possibly have been exposed to the virus?”

Given that people— even people you are close to— might qualify lying about this as a “social” or “little white lie,” and given the quite irrational but human tendency to bend or dismiss the truth to avoid embarrassm­ent, I don’t think you can rationally expect a truthful answer to this question from someone who violated guidelines, medical recommenda­tions and plain old common sense.

Inmy opinion, it is not wise to host an inside in-person game night or other gathering until you have the “all clear.”

Parlor games, especially, usually involve sitting close together, touching and sharing cards or game pieces, and excited exclamatio­ns.

We who live with long winters naturally pine for ways to socialize through the chill, but our patience will be rewarded ifwe continue to do everything possible to stop the spread of this pandemic.

I urge you to look into playing games online with these friends. Classics like Monopoly, Risk and Clue are all available to play online— andword games such as Scrabble and WordsWith Friends are fun to play virtually. Trivia games might be the best bet— and they translate well into the Zoom-age.

DearAmy: My fiance wants to invite “James,” his old college buddy, to our wedding. James and I had a silly drunken fling prior tomy relationsh­ip withmy fiance (he knows about this andwe have come to terms with it).

Still, I regretmy fling with James. What’s more, I think he is amean-spirited meddler. Years ago, he referred to me as “sloppy seconds” tomy fiance.

Is it unreasonab­le forme to say that he can’t come to thewedding? I don’twant to act like a Bridezilla.

— Hopeful

Dear Hopeful: You and your fiance each have the right to invite people from your individual list to your wedding. As obnoxious as “James” might be, my own perspectiv­e is that you simply not liking someone on your fiance’s list does not justify eliminatin­g him altogether. However, that “sloppy seconds” comment does put James in the invitation “red zone.”

Having a point of view about who attends your wedding does not make you a “Bridezilla.” (Let’s reserve that term for brides who throw tantrums over trivial matters.)

If you sincerely conclude that you must eliminate James from your fiance’s list, perhaps there is someone on your list that your fiancewoul­d also like to veto.

DearAmy: Thank you so much for publishing the question from“Starving and Fat.” I’ve been struggling withmy own eating disorder lately. When you said that the stress of the pandemic and the social isolation and job challenges have caused dormant issues to resurface, I decided to make an appointmen­t withmy therapist.

— Struggling

Dear Struggling: Recovery is an everyday triumph. Recovery froman eating disorder is especially challengin­g because it is impossible to eliminate and avoid the source of your biggest challenge, which is food.

Relapsemay always be just around the corner, but so is recovery. “Starving and Fat’s” brave choice to reveal this has inspired a lot of people (like you) to seek help.

 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States