Long-ago lovers re­con­nect

Daily Times (Primos, PA) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - Dear Abby — Brief af­fair — On the mend Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Abby shares

DEAR ABBY » I had a brief af­fair with a mar­ried man 36 years ago. “Jerry” had left his wife af­ter learn­ing she was sleep­ing with his best friend. Our af­fair ended and we went on with our lives. Jerry stayed with his wife, and I mar­ried the man of my dreams.

Af­ter 45 years of mar­riage, Jerry’s wife died. My hus­band died sud­denly two months be­fore she did. A few years ago, a mu­tual friend put us to­gether. We en­joy each other’s com­pany and spend time to­gether.

Jerry’s two daugh­ters are giv­ing him a hard time about us dat­ing. They told him they will never ac­cept me be­cause they know I was the one he had the af­fair with. They don’t know about their mother’s af­fair.

A month be­fore she passed, she told her daugh­ter, for what­ever rea­son, that her fa­ther would go back to me. My fam­ily has wel­comed him with open arms. Jerry’s daugh­ters are mar­ried, so he’s alone most of the time.

How should we han­dle them? His son is OK with us. It hurts Jerry when his daugh­ters tell him he’s not to have me at his house or any gath­er­ings they may have. Would re­ally like your thought on this. DEAR B.A. » Not know­ing Jerry’s late wife, I can only guess why she told her daugh­ter what she did. It’s pos­si­ble it was to pre­vent you and her hus­band from rekin­dling your re­la­tion­ship af­ter her death.

The per­son to han­dle it might be the mu­tual friend. Be­cause the “girls” know only half the story, that per­son could tell them the other side. Whether the in­for­ma­tion al­ters their view on your re­la­tion­ship is any­body’s guess.

Jerry should also make clear to his daugh­ters that he is now a sin­gle adult, who doesn’t need any­one telling him who to en­ter­tain in his home and that he ex­pects the woman in his life to be treated, at the very least, with ci­vil­ity. Un­less he is pre­pared to draw the line, they will run his life for him as long as he’s breath­ing.

DEAR ABBY » I re­cently suf­fered a heart at­tack. Ev­ery­thing’s fine now ex­cept for some mi­nor dam­age to my heart and some nec­es­sary life­style changes. Smok­ing is now out.

I live in a ru­ral area. The only cath lab fa­cil­ity was 45 min­utes away by he­li­copter. My boss and as­sis­tant su­per­vi­sor both trav­eled 2 1/2 hours to visit me and, in ad­di­tion, my boss and his di­rec­tor are com­ing here to­day to trans­port me back home. I would like to show my ap­pre­ci­a­tion for their kind­ness, but I’m not sure what would be ap­pro­pri­ate. Your ad­vice would be ap­pre­ci­ated. DEAR ON THE MEND » I’m pleased you are do­ing bet­ter. I’m sure any­thing you choose to give them would be ap­pre­ci­ated. Con­sider tak­ing them out to din­ner. Al­ter­na­tively, per­haps present them with cof­fee mugs with “hero” or “cham­pion” on them — they can be or­dered on­line — and a card ex­plain­ing that the word re­minded you of them.

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