Transitions often stressful for parents, too

As graduates face new challenges, mom and dad must readjust.

The transition from high school to “real life” whether it means going to college or getting a job is an exciting and sometimes stressful experience for student and parent alike.

Students are now expected to make more decisions than they did under their parent’s guidance and now also begin to experience the full impact of consequences for their actions.

Here are some things to consider for both parents and students as you go through this transition together.

For students, some of the greatest stresses they will face when transitioning to their new life are time management, budgeting their money and finding a healthy balance between work and social activities.

Time management

Since a student’s life is no longer scheduled by others like teachers, parents or coaches, they now have the responsibility of creating their own time table for finishing projects whether for school or work.

“They face a whole new world, which is exciting but can catch them off guard at times,” said Catherine Queener, Director of First Year Programs at Wright State University. “Successful students find ways to pace themselves in all aspects of their lives.”

Living on a budget

Whether it is managing the money you get from your paycheck or your student loan, wondering where the money went when the rent or tuition is due won’t settle well with anyone. Setting and living by a budget is probably one of the most important things you can do when starting out on your own. Make sure all the basics are covered such as rent, food, utilities, and any other bills such as car payments, books, tuition, and insurance. Once you figure out the amount you need for survival, set it aside and do not touch it until it is needed. If setting up a budget seems a bit daunting you can download a helpful basic budget spreadsheet at http://financial plan.about.com/library/n_ collbudget.htm.

Balancing work and play

“Students learn valuable leadership skills from involvement in campus life and student organizations. It’s critical that they maintain progress in their formal curriculum at the same time, though,” Queener said.

Creating a balance between work and social activities helps with both productivity and lowering stress levels. The website collegeconfidential.com offers a number of helpful tips on how to create and maintain this balance, including:

• Work in the library not in your dorm room. There are fewer temptations there. Some colleges even allocate library carrels to those who want them, so you can have your own home away from home.

• Join a club or organization. Many students bond with their fellow staffers on the school newspaper or have a great time on outing club expeditions.

• Get outside help. If you’re really struggling to keep your focus on your commitments, you might want to talk to either your faculty advisor or a member of the college counseling staff. He or she may suggest setting up regular check-ins to chart your progress and can offer advice that is specific to your campus and situation.

Of course the graduating student isn’t the only one going through this transition, as it’s a challenging time for parents, too.

Parents face issues, too

Queener said that she is currently going through this transition with her own son who is a first-year college student. She said that she has found that the Wright-State University Parents association to been helpful, and that their newsletter is a valuable resource for parents.

According to aboutourkids.org some of the challenges and stresses that parents will face when their children leave home include, feeling left out of their children’s lives; filling a void in their own lives and trouble relinquishing control. Some tips they offer to help with these transitional stresses include:

• Develop an adult-to-adult aspect of the parent-child relationship. Children always need parents, but the relationship may become more peer-like. Accepting that adult children want more privacy in certain areas of their lives is part of this process.

• Redirect time and energy previously focused on the child. Taking stock of personal interests and assets will reveal areas of life that may have been neglected. It can be time to develop, reawaken and pursue old and new hobbies, leisure activities and careers.