How do you decline a bride’s offer to be her right hand on the big day?
From Jen Glantz is a professional bridesmaid for hire and the author of “Always a Bridesmaid (For Hire)”:
Before you let the bride know, come to terms with the true reason you’d like to decline taking on that role.
Is it because you’re feeling financially strapped? Finding yourself working overtime at your job?
Whatever the reason is, make sure you’re able to clearly state that to the bride, so that she can better understand your hesitation and reason for skipping out on her bridal party.
Then, before time slips away, be sure to tell her that you’d rather be a wedding guest.
Do it in person or over the phone, if possible.
Provide some alternative ways in which you can still be there for her during her wedding planning adventure.
Perhaps you can help her with do-it-yourself crafts or planning the bridal party.
Try saying: “I’m honored you asked me to be your bridesmaid, and I really want to be there for you, but right now, in my life, I have X thing going on, and I don’t think I can give 110 percent as a member of your bridal party. I still want to be there to support you and would love to help with other tasks.”
Alison Sigmon, clinical therapist, business executive and author of “Delivering
A:
Bad News in Good Ways”:
What’s driving your need to say no? Is it about money, time or availability?
Being clear with yourself first will help you be clear with your friend.
Having a plan going into the conversation will help you manage your feelings and clear space for her response.
Craft your statement, and consider the style: Is she a “give it to me straight” type, a “write then call” type or an “open with a story” type? It’s important to be appreciative and caring in your delivery while giving her time to absorb the news. Keep it simple. Be clear about your reasons, share how you feel, and offer an alternative for how you can support the bride.
Yesterday’s sparkling water is today’s coconut water is tomorrow’s … birch tree sap?
Birch water, a waterlike sap tapped from birch trees, is the latest beverage to join an alternative water market that accounted for about $2.7 billion in sales worldwide in 2016, according to food and beverage consultancy firm Zenith Global.
The lure of the slightly sweet beverage is its mineral content, in addition to its lowersugar content than coconut water, said John Kavchak, the co-founder and director of Sapp, a Chicago- and New York-based company that sells birch water in the U.S.
“It’s arguably the lowestsugar plant-based beverage,” he said of birch water. “It’s rich in minerals and antioxidants, and it’s been used for centuries in Scandinavia and Eastern Europe as a natural source of detox.”
Birch water contains a high level of manganese, a mineral that helps blood sugar regulation and bone structure through calcium absorption, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. Manganese is a component of the antioxidant enzyme superoxide dismutase, an enzyme that helps fight naturally occurring free radicals that “can damage cell membranes and DNA,” according to the university.
Kavchak is quick to point out that birch water isn’t a miracle tonic, however.
“I like to say it’s more than regular water, but it’s only an addition to your drinking occasions,” he said. “We’re not trying to sell this as medicine. Our goal is to sell a beverage that is hydrating and has health benefits.”
Though birch water contains five times the amount of manganese as kale, according to Sapp, its price point — $3.49 per bottle of Sapp and more than $40 for a 12-pack of Byarozavik on Amazon — is something to consider, said Kristin A.R. Gustashaw, an advanced-level clinical dietitian at Rush University Medical Center.
“As far as the amazing qualities of birch water, it’s actually not much different than what you can get in oats,” Gustashaw said. “When you look at the cost of a serving of birch water against the cost of a cup of oats, oats are a fraction of cost. You can get the same or a similar amount of manganese from oats at an estimate of 20 or 21 cents versus $3.50 for the same amount of manganese. It’s an expensive source of one nutrient that they’re advocating.”
A large part of that cost stems from the process of tapping and preserving birch sap, which can expire within days if not cared for, Kavchak said. There is only a threeor four-week period in April when the trees can be tapped, he said.
Not all tree waters are the same. Maple water shares similarities with birch water but has a different mineral profile and a higher natural sugar content while lacking birch water’s trace amounts of xylitol, a natural sugar alcohol that can help prevent tooth decay by inhibiting the growth of Streptococcus mutans, a bacteria that causes cavities, according to the California Dental Association. And Byarozavik, for example, adds organic cane sugar to its birch water.
While Sapp’s original flavor does not have additives except less than 1 percent of citric acid, the company offers birch water flavored with nettle and rose hip, which respectively support kidney functioning and the immune system.
Those additives can become too much of a good thing if you’re not careful, Gustashaw said, and could pose a risk for pregnant women and people taking blood pressure medication.
“Rose hip is a great source of vitamin C, but there is potential harm in excessive amounts,” she said. “Once you take a vitamin, any vitamin, in a megadose, it’s considered a drug. If it’s being used at a therapeutic level, it can throw off your metabolism. And for something like water, depending on what your water is fortified with, it could become an issue. Water is a great thing, but even water has to be in the right dosing for our bodies.”
Gustashaw said she isn’t wary of birch water as much as she cautions that no “super drink” is super.
“I’ve never seen a manganese deficiency in 20 years of practice,” she said. “But I try to focus people on a whole food concept and not on a specific vitamin or supplement. Quite often, Americans are short in their diets, so if people are getting a little extra, that’s fine. We just don’t want to over-supplement our bodies.”